Showing posts with label excuses. Show all posts
Showing posts with label excuses. Show all posts

Thursday, 1 June 2017

Schrödinger's Prime Minister

From The Metro:

THERESA MAY said she was too busy ‘talking to voters’ to take part in last night’s TV leaders’ debate... adding that she wanted to talk to the public. She said: ‘He ought to be paying a little more attention to thinking about Brexit negotiations. That’s what I’m doing.’

The third possibility is that was she busy talking to voters (from 8 'til 9 in the evening) while thinking about Brexit negotiations. And presumably you can talk to more voters by knocking on doors for two hours than by appearing on the telly, which is Diane Abbot style maths.

Sunday, 29 May 2016

Beyond satire.

Exhibit One:

Tony Blair has said it would be a “very dangerous experiment” if Jeremy Corbyn or a populist politician like him were to form a government.

In an interview with the BBC, the former Labour prime minister said populist politicians, whether on the left like Corbyn or on the right, were worrying and he spent a lot of time thinking about how people in the centre should respond.

Blair famously said last summer that anyone thinking of voting for Corbyn as Labour leader because it was what their heart told them to do should “get a transplant”, but his latest comment may be his harshest yet.


Exhibit Two

An unfortunate mobile phone salesman was tied up and beaten by an angry crowd in Cixi City, China, after he was mistaken for a baby snatcher.

Exhibit Three

Channel 4 comedy Raised By Wolves is being adapted for American TV by Diablo Cody, the writer of Juno...

Now The Guardian has reported that Moran and Cody have been in contact about reworking the action from Wolverhampton to the US…

The remake is being made by Berlanti Productions, whose credits include the less down-to-earth shows Supergirl and Legends of Tomorrow.


Exhibit Four

Lack of unity on the EU, UK government challenges and UKIP all contributed to the Welsh Conservatives losing seats at the assembly elections, leader Andrew RT Davies has said.

But...

Ruth Davidson, the Scottish Tory leader, has declared herself a “John Major”-style Conservative, after leading the party to its best election result in Scotland for almost 60 years.

I saw another good one last week but I've forgotten it.

Thursday, 20 November 2014

At last, a bit of sensible advice from the Beeb.

Franklin considers snow shovelling to be so dangerous that he advises anyone over the age of 55 not to do it.

Let's factor in a margin of safety and reduce that age limit to 25 or something, you never know. Better safe than sorry.

Sorted.

"Sorry I couldn't make it into work, but the car was snowed in and I didn't want to risk a heart attack."

With a bit of luck, that'll get you out of some forced Xmas shopping trips/picking up relatives trips as well.