Fun Online Polls: British troops in Germany & Michael Stipe's Jaguar

The results to last week's Fun Online Poll were as follows:

Would stationing 3,000 extra British troops in Germany make any difference to Russian expansionism in Ukraine?

Yes - 2%
No - 21%
Oh come off it, did somebody really suggest that? - 76%
Other, please specify - 1%

A reasonable counter-question, and the answer is yes:

Britain should station 3,000 troops in Germany to avoid appearing weak in the eyes of 'resurgent Russia', says former Army chief
* Lord Dannatt says troops would underpin diplomacy with Russia
* He said the West must not be 'weak in resolve and muscle'
* Retaining 3,000 troops in Germany would show Britain is 'serious'

Go figure.
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For a bit of light relief, this week's Fun Online Poll:

"Which model Jaguar would Michael Stipe out of R.E.M drive?"

Use the widget in the sidebar.

"Dig a hole, dig it deeper, deeper"

Among the dozens of unwritten rules of composing pop songs are

1. You don't have different songs with similar names;

2. The name of the song = the chorus (the bit you hum when you're waiting for the 'bus), not the 'bridge'; and

3. Between 'verse' and 'chorus' you have something called a 'bridge', which builds the tension a bit between the two.

For sure, rules are there to be broken, but REM manage to break all three to ill effect with "Mine Smell Like Honey" from their new long player. For a start, you'll be disappointed that it's nowhere near as good as Me in honey. The intro and verse are cool enough, you assume they are building up to the usual REM 'uplifting chorus' bit, but then the song sort of stops and there's a really clunky bit where they sing "Mine smell like honey" which is completely out of context and drags the whole thing back to the ground.

Because that's the name of the song, you initially assume that it's the chorus - which ruins the whole song - and that the bit after that (where they sing "Dig a hole, dig it deeper, deeper") is some throwaway filler bit. It's not - that is the actual chorus!

Once you grasp that the official song name ("Mine smell like honey") is the result of an administrative cock-up at the pressing plant and work on the assumption that the chorus is actually the bit where they sing "Dig a hole, dig it deeper, deeper..." and hence that the song is really called something like "Dig a hole", it's actually a brilliant song:

Living Well Is The Best Revenge

The reviews of the new REM album 'Accelerate'* are pretty accurate; it's short and noisy, and thankfully is largely free of drivel like 'Losing My Religion' or 'Everybody Hurts'**.

It is worth buying*** for the opening track alone, 'Living Well Is The Best Revenge' (aka 'Living Well Is The Best Defence'); the guitar intro is a lot like 'Heatseeker' by AC/DC and it just gets better from there. If the bass-line were the fire brigade, it would turn up the minute a fire started, put it out safely, rescue a cat from a nearby tree and have some tea and biscuits without breaking a sweat. And never go on strike. I have no idea what Michael Stipe is singing about, so I shall pencil it in as the libertarian national anthem.

* Rather bizarrely, this is the first album in the alphabet, according to my iTunes, I filed 'Abba Gold' under 'Gold' rather than 'Abba Gold'.

** Two of the worst songs ever inflicted on humanity.

*** Or save yourself a tenner and just download the first track for £1 or whatever it costs.