From The Daily Mail:
A Catholic Bishop has been forced to apologies to outraged parents after telling a group of children that Santa Claus does not exist. The Roman Catholic diocese of Noto in Sicily insisted that Bishop Antonio Stagliano did not mean to dash the dreams of youngsters two weeks before Christmas.
Why stop there? Why not tell them that the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny (or their Italian equivalents) are also completely made up, and really piss off your employers by admitting there is no Sky Fairy?
Monday, 13 December 2021
Oh the irony.
Posted by
Mark Wadsworth
at
10:37
2
comments
Saturday, 11 December 2021
Wednesday, 16 December 2020
Australian Xmas song
I'm dreaming of a hot Christmas
Just like the ones I'll always know
Where the trees are burning
And barbies turning
A huge pile of embers all a-glow
I'm dreaming of a hot Christmas
With every Christmas card I write
May your days be sunny and bright
With sun-block to keep skin nice and white.
Posted by
Mark Wadsworth
at
21:24
10
comments
Monday, 7 December 2020
Songs on my Xmas playlist by release date
To summarise: the Golden Age of cheesy Xmas songs was from the 1940s to the 1960s, bang them out and hope for the best. The period 2007-2012 is skewed on my list because that's when Bob Dylan and Michael Bublé released their Xmas albums (both of them timeless classics). Apart from that, it's more evenly spread than you'd expect.

Posted by
Mark Wadsworth
at
20:04
7
comments
Tuesday, 1 December 2020
Monday, 23 December 2019
Xmas gear change
Celine Dion, "I met an angel on Christmas Day", up a cheeky semi-tone half way through the last line of the middle eight at 1 min 52 secs.
Posted by
Mark Wadsworth
at
15:02
2
comments
Labels: Gearchange, Music, Xmas
Monday, 9 December 2019
Well, yes and no.
From The Daily Mail:
A mother has blasted Marks and Spencer for 'false advertising' after her artificial Christmas tree arrived wonky and looking like a 'twig without any leaves'.
Ms Jasionowicz, of Cheshunt Hertfordshire, said:
"I was hugely disappointed because we put a lot of time and effort into putting the tree up. We took it down straight away because it looks awful. It looks like a twig without any leaves. I expected a quality product but that's not what we got. The image on the website does not represent the product and I feel like we were sold short."
"Sold short"?? It looks worse than no tree at all, so well done Ms Jasionowicz for naming and shaming M&S.
But with just over two weeks to go before Christmas the family are yet to find a replacement tree and have been given a refund by M&S following a complaint.
Wot? The shops are full of them.
Posted by
Mark Wadsworth
at
14:02
0
comments
Labels: Marks and Spencer, Xmas
Saturday, 7 December 2019
Sunday, 1 December 2019
"Last Christmas"
It being the first day of December, we put up the Xmas decorations, and Her Indoors and I went to see Last Christmas.
What can go wrong, I thought, it was universally panned by the critics as a cheesy, predictable Xmas rom-com, guaranteeing that you'll be pleasantly surprised, i.e. coming out thinking "It wasn't that bad, really".
What they don't warn you is that it is a real weepie tear jerker, I was welling up for the last ten minutes, thinking about my own mortality and the meaning of life and stuff.
Awesome!
Posted by
Mark Wadsworth
at
18:20
3
comments
Thursday, 27 December 2018
Read it and weep.
Email from HR. The list of 'don'ts' is so long, it would probably have been quicker telling us what people are allowed to do:
The festive season is here and I am sure you are all getting excited about the Christmas party. Like any great event, it takes great people but as it is nearing the end of the year you may need to refresh yourself on some of our policies.
Please do check our company handbook to confirm our expected standards of behaviour, particularly our policies on harassment, discrimination, health and safety and conduct. All of these policies apply to you at the party and any other work social event, any breach could lead to disciplinary action.
No one guilty of these actions is likely to end up on Santa's nice list, so please act in the way you wish to be treated by your colleagues.
Aside from our policies we have a few pointers we would like you to observe. These pointers are not only to protect [employer] and its reputation but also YOU! We want to ensure you are all safe and everyone feels welcome, therefore please read and abide by them this festive season:
- ENJOY the Christmas party but don't ruin it for anybody else, drink sensibly and be aware of your behaviour. Remember your fellow party-goers are your colleagues with whom you have a duty to behave reasonably.
- During and after the party, stay with other people, don't put yourself in the position of being a little 'worse for wear' and alone.
- Make sure you know how you are getting home, book your transport in advance where required, don't allow yourself to get stranded.
- Be mindful and look after colleagues, if you feel they have had too much 'merriment' do look after them.
- Do not be let loose on Social Media, especially when commenting, 'tagging in' colleagues, sharing photo's etc.
- Think of others and do not make any comments that can be deemed to be abusive, discriminatory, or offensive.
- The Christmas party is on a weekday night therefore unless you have agreed leave for the following day you are expected to be in work (or exams) at the usual time the next morning. Be aware of your ability to drive the following morning, please drink responsibly and remember your obligations for the following day.
- And one final tip - you will be surrounded colleagues, be mindful of what you and say and do, to prevent causing offence to them or embarrassment for yourself.
These pointers are also applicable for any client parties/ socials you may be attending - don't forget you are representing [employer] at these events!
We trust everyone will accept this communication in the right spirit by appreciating that the Company is committed to meet its legal and moral obligations of ensuring your safety and wellbeing, not only in the work place but at work related functions also. None of the above should prevent us from having a great evening.
Posted by
Mark Wadsworth
at
15:48
5
comments
Friday, 21 December 2018
Band Aid (1984) vs Band Aid 20
I'm not familiar with Band Aid II (1989) or Band Aid 30 (2014), so can't comment on those. Band Aid (1984 original) and Band Aid 20 (2014 remake) are exactly the same song, except the remake has a little rap section in the middle.
To my mind, the differences are:
1. Most of the artists who appeared on first one had quite long lasting fame, and seem to have been rewarded with longevity. Only two (George Michael and Rick Parfitt) fell in the great celebrity cull of 2016.
Most of those who appeared on the remake only had short lived musical careers. The only one who is still active and well known is Chris Martin out of Coldplay. Bono doesn't count; And & Dec and Cat Deeley are still going, but they are TV presenters, not musicians. What happened to the rest?
Anthony McPartlin (Ant & Dec)
Declan Donnelly (Ant & Dec)
Tim Wheeler (Ash)
Daniel Bedingfield
Natasha Bedingfield
Busted
Cat Deeley
Dido
Dizzee Rascal
Ms Dynamite
Skye Edwards (Morcheeba)
Estelle
Feeder
Neil Hannon (The Divine Comedy)
Justin Hawkins (The Darkness)
Jamelia
Tom Chaplin, Tim Rice-Oxley (Keane)
Beverley Knight
Lemar
Shaznay Lewis (All Saints)
Katie Melua
Róisín Murphy (Moloko)
Snow Patrol
Rachel Stevens
Robbie Williams
Joss Stone
Sugababes
The Thrills
Turin Brakes
Will Young
Russell Mael (Sparks)
Fran Healy (Travis)
2. Musically, the first one is just droning over-layered synthesiser sludge, but the drumming (Phil Collins) is glorious and uplifting all the way through. Musically, the remake is much crisper and well-defined: just piano, acoustic guitar and some nifty guitar solos, but the drumming is really pedestrian and there's a weird bit at the end where they are just bashing some cowbells and hitting sticks together. A pity we can't edit out the rap section (well meant, but jars) and the drumming from the remake and splice Phil Collins' drums in instead.
Posted by
Mark Wadsworth
at
17:00
4
comments
Friday, 14 December 2018
Advent Calendars
The Mrs dutifully bought advent calendars for me and herself (the nice 'Celebrations' ones).
Every morning I want to be a rebel and open any old random window, but then I always chicken out and look for the correct one for the day. To do otherwise would just feel wrong, and not in a good way.
How daft is that?
Posted by
Mark Wadsworth
at
15:54
10
comments
Labels: Xmas
Saturday, 1 December 2018
Sunday, 31 December 2017
The Trashmen "Dancing with Santa" lyrics
The usual lyric sites don't have the lyrics to this fine song, so I have typed them up for future reference.
Thanks to Mike W, Frank and Peter for corrections and suggestions.
Capitalised words or phrases are references to other songs/artists, hopefully DBC Reed tell me if I've missed any.
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[Spoken intro]
T'was the night before Christmas, all was quiet and still
Except for that house up on Blueberry Hill
The stockings were hung, it seemed all was right
But there were more than just sugarplums dancing that night...
[End of spoken intro]
Down in the basement, a guitar wails
Oh what a sight to see
Dancing Santa and his eight reindeer
Doing the Watusi
There was Little Annie and a Short Fat Fanny
And the wildest of rock'n'roll bands
And by the back door was an English boy
Singing 'I Don't Wanna Hold Your Hand'
Johnny Rivers and Maybellene
And a chick called Peggy Sue
And a-everybody's heard all about The Bird
And he was even there too
[Chorus]
With a ho-ho-ho and his big round belly
Shakin' All Over like a bowlful of jelly
You should have seen those reindeer prance
The night they taught old Santa to dance
Well he laughed so hard and he laughed so loud
And he kept on dancing until
He woke all the kids and they had to come up
To that house on Blueberry Hill
Then he opened up his big bag of toys
With something for everyone
And he said kinda sly with a twinkle in his eye
'Well I never had so much fun'
[Chorus]
With a ho-ho-ho and his big round belly
Shakin' All Over like a bowlful of jelly
You should have seen those reindeer prance
The night they taught old Santa to dance
Then he jumped in his sleigh and he cracked his whip
And disappeared from sight
But over the tree tops the sleighbells played
A rock'n'roll song that night
And now they say that Santa Claus-land
Is really something to see
'Cause all of his boys are making his toys
To the beat of the Watusi
Yeah, all of his boys are making his toys
To the beat of the Watusi
'Cause all of his boys are making his toys
To the beat of the Watusi [fade]
Posted by
Mark Wadsworth
at
17:37
13
comments
Monday, 11 December 2017
Fun Online Polls: Xmas songs and Bitcoin
The results to last week's Fun Online Poll were as follows:
Which is the most Christmassy Beatles-related song?
Beatles "Christmas time is here again" - 0%
John Lennon "Happy Xmas (war is over)" - 13%
Paul McCartney & Wings "Mull of Kintyre" - 2%
Paul McCartney "Wonderful Christmas time" - 36%
All of the above - 5%
None of the above - 38%
Other, please specify - 5%
I'd call that a narrow win for "Wonderful Christmas Time" (36% plus the 5% who voted "All of the above") with "None of the above" in close second place. Which is logically impossible answer, unless you believe all the songs listed to be exactly equal in terms of Christmassy-ness or un-Christmassy-ness.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Steven-L's post of yesterday about Bitcoin has prompted this week's Fun Online Poll.
"Bitcoin is..."
Vote here or use the widget in the sidebar.
Sunday, 10 December 2017
Tuesday, 5 December 2017
Fun Online Polls: Royal weddings, riots and Beatles-related Xmas hits
The results to last week's Fun Online Poll were as follows:
Will there be riots after next year's Royal Wedding?
Probably - 35%
Probably not - 65%
OK, I'm in the minority on this, maybe this will be the Royal Extravagant Display of Wealth that bucks the trend and is not followed/accompanies by riots.
Thanks to all 69 who took part.
------------------------------------
December wouldn't be December without an Xmas-related poll. I think I've already done real tree/artificial tree/neither, so let's do music again.
"Which is the most Christmassy Beatles-related song?"
Vote here or use the widget in the sidebar.
Posted by
Mark Wadsworth
at
14:50
2
comments
Labels: FOP, Music, Riots, Royal family, Xmas
Monday, 26 December 2016
The magical protection has expired after thirty two years
I pointed out nine years ago that those eighties pop stars who appeared in the Do They Know It's Christmas video were all miraculously still alive.
Sadly, the magical protection it bestowed appears to have expired, bang on cue at Xmas 2016,with Rick Parfitt and George Michael dying over the past two days.
Posted by
Mark Wadsworth
at
11:22
6
comments
Wednesday, 21 December 2016
Wednesday morning Xmas gear change
Rod Stewart, "Red suited superman"", up a semi-tone at 1 min 55 for absolutely no reason whatsoever:
Posted by
Mark Wadsworth
at
09:02
9
comments
Labels: Gearchange, Music, Xmas
Friday, 16 December 2016
Friday Night Xmas Gearchange
Cliff Richard, "21st Century Christmas", up a full tone at 2 min 37.
Posted by
Mark Wadsworth
at
16:15
4
comments
Labels: Gearchange, Music, Xmas



