Another classic Daily Mail headline

Husband, 65, and wife, 58, are found dead at the £300,000 house they shared with two of their four children 'after gunshots were heard'

As an encore:

Couple LOSE court bid to keep their dog in their £1million 'no pets policy' flat leaving them with an £70,000 legal bill

Daily Mail on superlative form.

Spotted by Chef Dave in The Daily Mail:

It could be a scene from the heart of one of Los Angeles' infamous ganglands - but this chilling video was in fact shot in a north London suburb just yards away from a busy shopping centre.

A gunman who is believed to have been wearing Muslim dress was filmed chasing four teenagers past houses and parked cars before appearing to shoot one of them as they cowered next to a house.

The shocking footage, taken outside Edmonton shopping centre around 2pm, showed the man following the young boys as they desperately tried to flee the scene, which is less than half a mile from a nearby primary school…

As he pulls the trigger, a shot rings out - but the man, who is wearing jeans and a T-shirt, manages to escape. The victim then desperately tries to scramble up the pavement away from his attacker, who appears to give up before running up a nearby busy road. The rest of the group can be seen getting into a car to escape the suburb, where the average house price is £280,000.

The Daily Mail's roving crime/house price reporter strikes again

From The Daily Mail:

The stunned neighbours of a drug baron executed at the wheel of his car on Tuesday night have described hearing a flurry of calculated gunshots in what sounded like a professional murder...

The shooting took place at 7pm as El-Ghaidouni pulled on to the driveway of his £600,000 detached home on Vine Lane in Uxbridge, West London.

"Why is there so much support for the Marysville shooter?"

Weird.

There was a throwaway sentence in yesterday's Metro suggesting that this was happening, but I assumed it was a typo. Turns out it's true.

From My Northwest

Among the balloons and flowers tied to the chain link fence outside Marysville-Pilchuck High School are these: a white wrestling shoe; a youth football team photo, with one player encased in a red-marker heart; and a candle covered with a plastic cup bearing the name "Jaylen."

They are all tributes to Jaylen Fryberg, the popular 15-year-old freshman who texted five friends to invite them to lunch Friday and then gunned them down at a table in the school's cafeteria…

Daily Mail on top form

Former Tory spotted this at The Daily Mail:

When two more gunshots shattered the early morning silence, [the police] took cover, later investigating searching the area and finding the teenagers' bodies in bushes outside one of the area's many luxury mansions.

The Hollingworths were nowhere to be seen yesterday at the £70,000 bungalow with swimming pool they bought with a 100 percent mortgage in an area that was devastated by the 2008 property crisis.

The article even helpfully includes a photograph of "The former family home of the Hollinghursts in Glossop, Derbyshire, before they moved to Florida five years ago".

"The Dispossessed Fund: £1m to help charities fight gangs"

From The Evening Standard:

The Evening Standard's Dispossessed Fund has secured £1 million for charities tackling gangs and young Londoners at risk of anti-social or criminal behaviour…

The charities will now be able to invest in knives, pickaxe handles and stab proof vests, with fire arms for those who dare venture into the most violent gang territories.

Starbucks says mass shootings unwelcome, though not banned

From barchart.com:

NEW YORK (AP) — Starbucks says crazed gunmen are no longer welcome in its cafes, though it is stopping short of an outright ban on mass shootings.

The fine line that the retailer is walking to address the concerns of both lone schizophrenics and people who just want to have a coffee and use the wi-fi reflects how heated the issue has become, particularly in light of recent killing sprees.

Most states allow people to openly carry licensed guns into public buildings and start shooting at random, and many companies do not have laws banning massacres in their stores. But Starbucks has become a target for disgruntled ex-soldiers and the recently jilted, in part because of its liberal-leaning corporate image. In turn, coffee drinkers have been galvanized by the company's decision to defer to local laws.

In an interview, CEO Howard Schultz said the decision to ask customers to stop bringing automatic weapons into stores came as a result of the growing frequency of "Starbucks Appreciation Days," in which gun nuts with grudges turned up at Starbucks cafes and murdered staff and customers alike.

Schultz said the events mischaracterized the company's stance on the issue and the risk of being killed or maimed "has made our customers uncomfortable."

Schultz hopes crazed loners will honor the request not to wipe out everybody present and then commit suicide, but says the company will nevertheless serve those who can restrict themselves to picking off one or two isolated individuals if there are reasonable grounds.

"We will not ask you to leave," he said. "Just try and avoid spattering blood all over the place. The redecoration is costing us a fortune."

No, you cannot shoot somebody fatally more than once.

Outrage in Canada as moment police officer fatally shot knifeman nine times in 13 seconds is caught on video

"Cristiano Ronaldo targetted during match"

From The Daily Mail:

Cristiano Ronaldo was targeted with an air rifle during last night's football match between Barcelona and Real Madrid prompting fears of a new trend of 'footballers attacking footballers'. In an attempt to put off Real Madrid's star man, the Portuguese forward had dangerous airgun pellets fired directly at him countless times by Ashley Cole who was in the stand at the Nou Camp in Barcelona.

Air rifles are commonly used at Chelsea's training ground but are now becoming widespread at football matches.

Short List

Sid Vicious

OJ Simpson

Phil Spector

Oscar Pistorius

But apart from that, did you enjoy the deep-fried bananas?

From The Daily Mail:

A Thai senator accidentally shot his cousin dead with a submachine gun during a family meal in a restaurant, police have said.

Boonsong Kowawisarat fatally injured Chanakarn Detkard, 46, when he mistakenly fired the 9mm Uzi as he tried to put it away after placing it on the table. Chanakarn, who worked as the senator's secretary, suffered a bullet wound to the stomach and died on the way to hospital, according to local police.

"Batman star Anne Hathaway labels shooting 'reasonable under the circumstances' as film makes $160m on first weekend"

From The Daily Mail

'The Dark Knight Rises' star Anne Hathaway has labelled Friday's massacre at a Colorado screening of the Batman film 'a fair response to a film glorifying violence' as she joins a growing list of cast and crew publicly concealing their glee at the amount of publicity for the film the incident generated.

'My heart aches and breaks for the lives taken and altered by this mildly senseless act,' the actress, who plays Catwoman in the film, told ETonline today. 'I am at a loss how to express my sorrow with this big grin on my face. My thoughts and prayers are with my investment managers.'

Ms Hathaway's cynical comments follow statements from Christian Bale, who plays Batman, in which he said he was 'quite entertained' by rushes of the shootings, but he'd have to see the final edit first and from the movie's British director Christopher Nolan, who labelled the gunman's actions 'nowhere near as unbearably savage as what goes on in the film, and just as good for the box office as Heath Ledger overdosing while we were finishing off The Dark Knight'.

As survivors, families of the victims and the community in Aurora, Colorado, battle to come to terms with the heinous crime, which saw suspect James Holmes open fire in a midnight screening of the final movie in the Batman trilogy, killing 12 people and injuring 58, Warner Bros chose not to release weekend box office figures for the film in case those affected started a class action law suit.

'Out of respect for our shareholders and their families, Warner Bros. Pictures will not be reporting box office numbers for The Dark Knight Rises throughout the weekend. Box office numbers will be released on Monday when we've managed to stop grinning.' read a statement.

"Who let the bull out?"

From the Daily Mail, this one is hard core:

That's a question for a the judge, now.

Police were forced to break up an argument between neighbors in rural Concord, New Hampshire, after they started fighting over who let the cow loose on Saturday.
When one of the men tried to leave, authorities say Brian Downs, 28, rammed his car with his pickup truck and tried to push it into oncoming traffic, according to authorities.

Downs then went back to his pickup truck and got his shotgun and pointed it at his neighbor, according to police. He fired three shots. The first two hit the ground at the other man's feet. The last one he shot into the air.

It's not clear who owns the bull or what happened to it.

No doubt he will be back in the pasture, basking in the admiration of the rest of the herd.

Norwegian gun nut infuriated by mediocre caricature

"Apart from that, Mrs Przybyl, how was the press conference?"

"I think he shot himself in the foot. And missed badly."

"Cops scare and over kill young calf..."

Spotted by Anna Racoon:

Well, that was a waste of bullets...

... Police shoot dead man in a wheelchair

MONA

Most news outlets mentioned the fact that there had been a fatal shooting on a nuclear submarine in Southampton, but so far I haven't found anything which tells us the perp's name, his background or possible motive.

I can only assume that we are dealing with a Man Of No Appearance (^TM Tim Blair, as far as I can make out), who presumably was also a Man Without A Motive.

UPDATE: Quiet Man links to an article in the Daily Mail, so he's not a MONA at all. Ah well.

Short Lists

Famous people who shot somebody 'by mistake' (exclude accidental suicides)

1. Dick Cheney (submitted by Ross)

2. Willie Whitelaw (Jer)

3. William S Burroughs (DBC Reed)

4. Ashley Cole (The 23)

5. Charlie Sheen (belated entry by Joseph Takagi)

Next short list: Songs by Bob Dylan and AC/DC which had the same title

Click and highlight to reveal clue: Both of the Bob Dylan songs I'm thinking of were from his 'Christian' albums

Short Lists

Cities in France whose name, if listed next to their region, sounds like a chav and her daughter

1. Lorient, Brittany (submitted by EKTWP)
2. Nancy, Lorraine (submitted by John B)

Towns in Australia which sound as if they were named after a heavy metal magazine.

1. Kerang (winner: DBC Reed).

Next Short List: Famous people who shot somebody 'by mistake' (exclude accidental suicides).