The clue is in the word "out" you ditz

From City AM:

RETAIL expert Mary Portas yesterday accused the government of lacking "joined up thinking" and said it needs to introduce a clear strategy to secure the future of Britain's high streets.

Portas, who was tasked by David Cameron two years ago with reviewing the country's ailing town centres, also criticised communities secretary Eric Pickles for allowing an 82,000 square foot supermarket to be built on the seafront at Margate, a Portas Pilot town.

In an interview with Channel 5 news, Portas said: "We need some clear policies or planning. We cannot have a high street first policy, with the government saying 'Yes, we believe in it' and then have the Secretary of State signing off out of town retail. That doesn't work."

She gets another minus point for this bit of drivel:

Portas also pointed out that rates being paid by some businesses on high street were "beyond ridiculous" and needed to be addressed for new businesses to be able to open.

If there were no such thing as discounts for empty properties, charities etc and Business Rates were payable whatever happens, then clearly, the rates have no negative impact on actual live businesses and would not affect the total occupancy costs (rent + rates).

Tide comes in at 12 out of 12 coastal resorts

From The Guardian

King Cnut's scheme to stop the tide from coming in has failed to stop the rot – with 12 out of the 12 coastal resorts selected to share a hundred and twenty thousand of the King's gold coins seeing the tide continue to come in.

The coastal resorts - Bournemouth, Clacton, Weston, Bournemouth, Brighton, Blackpool, Lyme Regis, Padstow, Margate, Minehead, Great Yarmouth and Tenby - all saw the tide coming in.

The Stop The Tide Commission was launched last year after a report by one of the king's counsellors, scribe Portas, known as "Portas the Loudmouth". Of the targets chosen, all ended up with wet feet on the beach.

Tenby was the worst performer in terms of beaches, according to measurements of the dampness of robes was collected by the King's costermongers.

However, the local village idiot said the local Stop The Tide Commission team, called the Tenby Waterside Against Tides – or TWAT – had improved the prospects for the beach by backing new druids to come and shoo the tides away.

"Although there have been ups and downs, the villagers like to think of themselves as TWATs" he said. The team said in March that it had spent a third of the gold pieces it had been allocated under the government scheme and had already committed the rest of the cash for projects to be implemented later this year.

(and yes, I know that Cnut did it to prove he had no power over the tide, but this fits better).

You're subtly implying something unfavourable

about Mary Portas, aren't you..?

Oldies like chatting don't they ? Especially about ....

I see a potential join up here, anyone have Mary Portas' mobile number?

All subsidies accrue to landowners (part 94)

Spotted by Bob E at the BBC:

The owners of empty shops in Liskeard have been accused of trying to cash in on the town's £100,000 facelift. The Cornish town was one of 12 in England chosen for government cash to rejuvenate its shopping area with the help of retail guru Mary Portas.

Since the announcement last month, two owners have put up the asking price of their properties. Liskeard Mayor Tony Powell described the hike as greedy and insensitive, but inevitable.

One owner, who had an empty property on the market for £275,000, has instructed her estate agent to increase the asking price to £300,000.

Right, as we can see, subsidies push up land prices; can somebody explain to me why on Planet Home-Owner-Ist, the converse also seems to apply: the age-old KLN that "if we had Land Value Tax, landlords would just add it to the rents"?

Mary Portas - Queen of Shops