Sliced and diced

For argument's sake, let us assume that this from the BBC is actually a good interpretation of what actually happened, and the whole thing is not false conclusions drawn on the basis of a carefully manipulated series of PR events. Maybe Zawahari was a fictitious character whom the Yanks photo-shopped into existence so that they could later claim credit for eliminating him with a non-existent weapon, what do we know?

The Zawahiri strike, he added, "sounds like a model application" of the [assassination] process. "It sounds like they were very careful and deliberate in this instance to find him in a location and at a time when they could hit just him and not harm any other person," Prof Banks said.

In the case of the Zawahiri strike, it has been suggested, but not confirmed, that the US also used a relatively unknown version of the Hellfire - the R9X - which deploys six blades to slice through targets using its kinetic energy.

In 2017, another al-Qaeda leader and one of Zawahiri's deputies, Abu Khayr al-Masri, was reportedly killed with an R9X Hellfire in Syria. Photos of his vehicle taken after the strike showed that the missile had cut a hole in the roof and shredded its occupants, but without signs of an explosion or any further destruction to the vehicle.

Here is a picture of said vehicle, from The Daily Mail, so that seems like a reasonable conclusion based on scanty evidence:
Anyway, returning to the story:

"... His family protested his innocence and said they were distraught. His wife was reported to be in pieces. Funnily enough, so was he."

Bashar el- Assad on top form

From Paris Match:

Paris Match: If you sign an agreement with the Kurdish “People’s Protection Units,” and the army enters that region and recovers all this land, you’ll find that there are prisons, and in these prisons, there are 400 French Jihadists. What are you going to do with them?

Assad: Every terrorist in the areas controlled by the Syrian state will be subjected to Syrian law, and Syrian law is clear concerning terrorism. We have courts specialized in terrorism and they will be prosecuted.

Paris Match: So, you don’t intend to repatriate them to Europe as Recep Tayyip Erdogan has done, for instance?

Assad: Erdogan is trying to blackmail Europe. A self-respecting man doesn’t talk like this. There are institutions and there are laws. Extraditing terrorists or any convicted person to another state is subject to bilateral agreements between countries; but to release people from prison knowing that they are terrorists and sending them to other countries to kill civilians - this is an immoral act.

"Sweden's 100 explosions this year: What's going on?"

Headline by the BBC.

Everybody is totally baffled, as am I. Stumped. The whole thing is a mystery.

Paul Simon "Boy in the bubble"

It was a slow day
And the sun was beating
On the soldiers by the side of the road
There was a bright light
A shattering of shop windows
The bomb in the baby carriage
Was wired to the radio

Lyrics from Google Play Music

Top euphemising by the French

Emailed in by MBK from The Times:

A teenage girl was killed and four people were seriously injured when a man drove a car on to the terrace of a pizza restaurant near Paris last night.

Police said that it was a deliberate act but they did not suspect terrorism, adding that they believed the man was under the influence of drugs…

The driver of the grey BMW, a 32-year-old French national, was arrested at the scene in Sept-Sorts, 40 miles east of Paris… He told police he had weapons in the car, according to the radio station RTL.

Eric de Valroger, deputy regional prosecutor, said it was “highly probable” the driver was on drugs and deliberately rammed the car into those at the restaurant.

UPDATE Surprise, surprise, it appears that the driver was just a complete arsehole, rather than one with religious motives.

What a load of alarmist nonsense

Here

If lots of illegal immigrants without adequate papers are allowed on cross channel ferries by lax French border officials and end up at Dover, from what I recall, international law is quite clear they can and will be sent back on the next boat.

Of course the French could mischievously issue said immigrants with French papers, but this would be easy to spot and deal with.

Fun Online Polls: Islamic State, again.

The responses to last week's Fun Online Poll were as follows:

What is the most likely cause of Islamic State?

The usual violent Islamic tendencies and outside meddling in Syria - 74%
Climate change - 0%
The Killer Cornflake Conspiracy - 10%
Other, please specify - 15%

So no takers for 'climate change' then. It appears that more people would give credence to the 'Killer Cornflake Conspiracy', which is something equally fictitious.

As to 'outside meddling', from the comments it appears that people interpret this to mean Western meddling. That's only a part of it - the Iranians, the Saudi Arabians and possibly the Turks are just as guilty if not more so.
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Being a democratic blog, it's a free vote this week with no party whip this week:

If the UK bombs ISIS targets in Syria, this will…

Make us safer from terrorist attacks
Make us more a more likely target
Not make any measurable difference
Be a waste of money better spent controlling our borders and combatting domestic terrorism
Other, please specify.

Vote here or use the widget in the sidebar.

Fun Online Polls: Pies and Syria

I have been a bit out of action the last few days, so slightly belatedly: the results to last week's Fun Online Poll:

Does a pie need pastry on the top and bottom to qualify as a pie?

Yes, both 76%
No, a pastry lid is sufficient 24%

Good, we are three-quarters of the way to common sense. The correct answer is bottom and sides are most important. The upper crust, as per usual, is pretty superfluous.

Full write up over at Pub Curmudgeon's.
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Yes, we know that The Guardian have been saying that global warming caused the civil war in Syria for ages, but what's a bit worrying is that somebody who would like to be an unelected head of state is parroting this bullshit (while whizzing round in a private helicopter and living in several fully-staffed castles).

From the first article which is still rational, yes, if does appear likely that the drought in Syria was one of the indirect causes of civil unrest, as starving farmers moved to towns where people are more likely to start revolutions, that's happened quite often in history. But you can just extend this simple connection several steps in both directions.

So this is probably true:

Drought -> civil unrest

But you can't just keep extrapolating and end up with this:

Driving a car -> CO2 emissions -> global warming -> either floods or droughts, depending on what suits your argument -> civil unrest -> violent Islamists (which we've had for four decades) -> terrorism.

So is he right? Or is it more likely The Killer Cornflake Conspiracy?

Vote here or use the widget in the sidebar.

I do not understand why...

...we have seemingly endless news flow on the appalling events in Paris where 129 people were murdered. But it was only a few days previously when another 220 people were murdered by a bomb on an aeroplane, the news coverage of which seems to have just evaporated. It'd be a lot truer to conflate the two horrors and make the point that (apparently) ISIL terrorists have murdered 349 in November - so far.

"MI5 boss warns of postal terror risk"

From the BBC:

Privatising the Royal Mail and opening up postal services to competition are allowing terrorists to communicate "out of the reach of authorities", the head of MI5, Andrew Parker has told the BBC.

The serving boss of the UK's home security agency told Today it was becoming more difficult to work out what information people are each other sending in the post, and even if they know the addressee, senders can remain untraceable..

He said mail companies had an "ethical responsibility" to alert agencies to potential threats. But MI5 was not about "browsing the lives" of the public, he added.

Ministers are currently preparing legislation on the powers for steaming open envelopes or X-raying them. But Mr Parker, in the first live interview by a serving MI5 boss, said what should be included in new legislation was a matter "for parliament to decide".

"It is completely for ministers to propose, and parliament to decide. It's a fundamental point about what MI5 is. It's for us to follow what's set by parliament, and that's what we do.

"But we would strongly advise members of the public not to open a parcel if it's ticking."

Bit Oversensitive, I'd Say

From the Guardian

The chairman of an organisation set up to honour the memories of the victims of the 7/7 terrorist strike on London has labelled a new trailer for the Hollywood disaster movie London Has Fallen “extremely insensitive”.

Babak Najafi’s film, a big budget sequel to 2013 action thriller Olympus Has Fallen, stars Gerard Butler, Aaron Eckhart and Morgan Freeman in the story of an attack on the capital. Chair of the Tavistock Square Memorial Trust, Philip Nelson, said the timing of the trailer’s release was wrong just a few days before the 10th anniversary of Britain’s worst terrorist strike of recent times.

So, how many days before should everyone not carry on with life? Does this also apply to things afterwards?

“This is not the first time that Hollywood has been insensitive,” he told the Mirror. “If the story is about terrorism then this is extremely insensitive. People have also recently died of a terrorist attack in Tunisia.

So, we shouldn't make any films involving terrorist plots, because someone will be offended?

“I have seen an image of Big Ben with the clock face blown out, that’s also insensitive. “[Our Trust] has had lots of help from America so I just think that these are the wrong images to portray. Is the summer the best time to be promoting this film anyway?”

Insensitive to who? Finn McMissile from Cars 2? Richard Hannay from the 39 Steps? Tim Burton for doing it first in Mars Attacks?

And, yes, the summer is the best time to be starting the promotion for this film. It's a teaser trailer. It's released months before to get people starting to talk about it.

Daily Mail on top form

From The Daily Mail:

* Jamila and Jalila Henry, 21, are identical twin sisters from south London
* Convert Jamila has been caught travelling to Syria on her twin's passport

… At her flat in Balham, South London, yesterday, Jalila would say only that she had ‘loads to sort out’.

At her £500,000 home in nearby Streatham, the twins’ mother, Patricia Henry, 50, said she was ‘getting together with her relatives’ to discuss how to respond to the arrest.

Fun Online Polls: Charlie & Danish Kroner

The results to last week's Enquête Amusant were as follows:

Êtes-vous Charlie?

Je suis Charlie - 50%
Je ne suis pas Charlie - 33%
Qui est Charlie? - 17%

Très bien.
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So, the Swiss managed to keep the exchange rate for one CHF down to EUR 0.80 for over two years (see article at the time e.g. here), but in the end it was getting too risky/potentially expensive.

Apparently the Swiss national bank ended up with a pile of other currencies equivalent to one year's GDP. Seeing as these currencies can now only be sold for one-fifth less than what they paid for them (in CHF terms), there's going to be some explaining to do.

So that's what we learn time and again, in the long run, currency pegs will be abandoned and exchange rates cannot be manipulated; unless two countries which are economically similar and geographically close together, in which case their currencies would move in line anyway.

The question of everybody's lips now is: How long will it be until the Danish crack and allow their currency to rise relative to the Euro?

(For clarity, Denmark was in the same position as Switzerland, its politicians have decided to depress the value of their currency against the Euro to make it easier for exporters and cheaper for tourists (even though the place is still pretty expensive). They can keep the exchange rate down by printing as much money as the ECB is printing and swapping one for the other.)

So that's this week's Fun Online Poll. Vote here or use the widget in the sidebar.

Fun Online Polls: Dry January & Charlie

The responses to last week's Fun Online Poll were as follows:

By how much will you reduce your alcohol consumption during Dry January?

A lot - 2%
A bit - 2%
Not at all - 14%
Oh, I do wish they'd **** off and leave us alone - 82%

A very good turnout of 131 voters, thanks to everybody who took part.
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This week's Fun Online Poll should be fairly self-explanatory: Êtes-vous Charlie?

Islamist terrorism in the 21st century

I did this before going to work so clearly it's nowhere near complete. Give me a nudge in the comments and I will update the chart this evening.

"Loving This, Admit Israel And Hamas"

From The Daily Mash, six years ago (but just as valid sixty years ago and will probably still be relevant in sixty years' time):

ISRAEL and Hamas last night admitted the latest wave of deadly violence was one of the best they had seen in years.

As the international community condemned Palestinian rocket attacks against southern Israel and the corresponding Israeli air strikes in the Gaza Strip, both sides agreed it was ‘more fun than a barrel of heavily-armed suicide monkeys’.

Israeli prime minister ... said: “You’ve got to hand it to Hamas, they are the dog’s bollocks when it comes to unrelentingly insane terrorist opponents..."

Easily fixed

From Sky News:

Foreign Secretary William Hague has said a number of Britons are fighting with ISIS, the extremist group that has taken over large parts of Iraq.

Mr Hague told the Commons about 400 UK-linked nationals were involved in the conflict in neighbouring Syria and some of them were "inevitably" fighting for the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria (ISIS).

Mr Hague said: "We estimate the number of UK-linked individuals fighting in Syria to include approximately 400 British nationals and other UK linked individuals who could present a particular risk should they return to the UK, and some of these inevitably are fighting with ISIL (ISIS)."

Not a big problem is it? If people with British passports go to join a terrorist group, just cancel their passports and don't let them back into the UK.

It can't be that difficult to work out who's become a terrorist, there's a checklist i.e. male; Muslim; travelling to Middle East; alone or with other males; cannot give plausible reason why they are going and back this up with some evidence; away for longer than a week etc.

Anybody who ticks enough of those boxes has his passport cancelled and is refused re-entry to the UK. There'll be a few false positives, but that's life.

"Four Lions"

From Wiki and The Guardian:

Four Lions (2014) is a British dark comedy film following two lions and their two cubs from Sheffield, South Yorkshire, England. The lions become radicalised and hatch a plot to carry out suicide bombings at a zoo in Copenhagen.

They are Omar (Riz Ahmed), who is deeply critical of Western society and imperialism; his dim-witted friend, Waj (Kayvan Novak); Barry (Nigel Lindsay), a bad-tempered and extremely rash convert to Islam; and the naive Faisal (Adeel Akhtar), who just likes eating freshly slaughtered giraffes.

The lions successfully infiltrate the lion enclosure and Barry recruits a reluctant fifth lion, Hassan (Arsher Ali). Unfortunately for them, their plans are thwarted when the Danish zoo kills them all to make way for Hassan:

"Because of the pride of lions' natural structure and behaviour, the zoo has had to euthanise the two old lions and two young lions who were not old enough to fend for themselves," Copenhagen zoo said.

"The two youngest lions would have been killed by the new male lion Hassan as soon as he got the chance."

Fun Online Polls: BMW drivers and Flight MH370

The responses to last week's Fun Online Poll were as follows:

Which car drivers are the most inconsiderate? Multiple selections allowed.

BMW - 47 votes
Audi - 28 votes
Mercedes - 24 votes
Porsche - 14 votes
Volkswagen - 7 votes
Other, please specify - 17 votes

To be honest, I like the way the French deal with the BMW problem: they have a law that BMW drivers on the motorway have to keep their headlight on, at full beam, at all times to alert you that there is a complete idiot coming up behind, thus giving you more time to take evasive action. If this isn't enough, they also have to turn on their left indicators once they are within striking distance, just as a final warning.

It's a bit like being forced to carry L-plates for the rest of your life or lorries which Beep While Reversing.
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We're all experts now.

Where, if ever and anywhere, will they find [the wreckage of] Flight MH370?

Cast your vote here or use the widget in the sidebar.

A very worrying development

From the BBC:

Labour is urging the government to explain how a terror suspect under surveillance went missing after changing into a burka at a mosque.

If terror suspects can escape surveillance by changing into a random item of clothing like a burka, then what's to stop them escaping from escaping from jail by changing into a pair of shoes or something which a visitor slips on and smuggles out when they leave?

I blame Harry Potter, so I do.