"Flooding plan needs improvement"

There appear to be some sensible suggestions in The Pitt Review, but where they completely miss the point is the idea that we need a dedicated Cabinet Office to dish out £800 million a year for flood defences.

Flooding is a supremely local issue! ('This is a local flood for local people'). So this is a job for Land-Value-Tax-Man:

Every local authority in flood-prone areas gets competitive quotes for whatever is needed (demolition, drainage, dykes, pumps or whatever) and works out the contribution needed in pence per annum per sq yd of all those plots of land that will benefit. It also gets indicative quotes from insurance companies by how much they would reduce insurance premiums for buildings and contents.

Whether to introduce the charge to pay for the works (or a range of possible options) is then put to a referendum of local property owners, who are given all the financial information on which to base their decision.

Update: The BBC website linked to this, he said proudly.