"George Osborne admits to preventative brain surgery"

From Newsthump:

Osborne insisted that, without an operation, his doctors estimated he had an 87% risk of "thoughts" and a 50% risk of "implementing them".

"I decided to be proactive and to minimise the risk as much I could," he told us. "The problem is I carry a faulty gene called "FKW006T" which unfortunately makes me an incurable fuckwit".

Meanwhile over at The Daily Mash "Brad Pitt has revealed he had his testicles surgically removed seven years ago."

Jennifer Aniston's disloyal ex-husband