Continuing my occasional series, from the Newark* Advertiser:
Newark firefighters were called to a field off Hatchet’s Lane, at 5.15pm on Monday, where a 71-year-old woman had taken refuge up a tree.
Watch manager Mr Brian Smith said the woman fled up the tree after being charged by a cow with a calf. She was walking two dogs, a retriever and a Jack Russell. When the crew arrived the dogs were at the bottom of the tree and the cows were gone**...
Three people have reported to have been trampled to death by cows in recent weeks and former Home Secretary Mr David Blunkett made the headlines when he was charged by a cow in Derbyshire in June.
* That's an anagram of "wanker", as it happens, making Newark my second favourite English town after Scunthorpe (hidden word).
** So we're taking her word for it, really.
And Another One Gone
4 hours ago
7 comments:
Clearly, cows with calves must be banned, forthwith. Or be compulsorily dosed with contraception. I mean, if three people have died in recent weeks, and a former Home Secretary "charged" (how much and what for?), cows are clearly somewhat less than 1% as dangerous as a visit to an NHS hospital.
And there's no evidence at all that they clean up after themselves if they shit on the floor.
Outrageous.
formertory:
cows without calves should also be banned, especially if their name is Harriet!
WfW: I'd like to wonder whether Jack Dromey ever got a bit pished, then horizontal and engaged with the coo in question but, actually, it's altogether to off-putting a thought.....
wv cochmat
They know something we don't?
Cows don't like dogs. They aren't bright creatures and the dog/wolf distinction is just too much for them. If they went to school they wouldn't get further than A level.
Cows especially don't like dogs when they (the cows) have calves.
One of those trampled by rampaging, mother-hormone-filled cows because she was walking her dogs through a cow field was... a vet. Who should have known better.
I see people stepping into the street and ignoring the traffic. All the time. It's the driver's responsibility to dodge them. If he/she fails, they hope to sue and retire on the proceeds.
Sue a cow, suckers. For a pint of milk.
People have been bubble-wrapped for so long they think they are indestructible and that everyone else owes them 'respect'. People now think they can do what they please and if it goes wrong, they'll get compensation.
Crap.
Farm animals are not pets. I don't move fast, but the fastest anyone has seen me move was in a narrow lane between piggery pens when a 300-kg sow decided to go for a stroll in my direction. These buggers have eaten the legs of electricians who thought they could fix the wiring without bothering to get the pigs moved first. It wasn't malice. They were hungry and there was meat in front of their eyes.
If you walk through a field full of half-tonne animals who are feeling a bit protective of their newborns, and who don't know you, you're an idiot.
If you take something those animals will think looks like a wolf, well you'd be better jumping in front of a train. It hurts less and it's quicker.
Cows are vegetarian. They don't know about 'humane killing'. They just know 'stomp'. Then more stomp until the thing they're stomping stops twitching.
Sheep fields are safer. Sheep just run away. Unless there's a ram around, but even then, you'll just suffer the indignity of a dented backside. Unless you bend over in which case you might have a dye mark on your back that you'll never live down!
I once had a dog that was shot for sheep-worrying. It used to sidle up to them and whisper 'Mint sauce'.
I'll get me coat.
I'd like to know how a 71 year old woman got up a tree.
This is the cow with the crumpled horn that tossed the maided all fallorn.....
"cows without calves should also be banned"
Heather Mills should be banned?
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