Friday 26 February 2010

Euphemism Of The Week

Extract from an email sent to residents by a certain local council, which will remain nameless*:

... We have contacted the Council's Licensing Officers. As it was Punch Taverns who owned the previous license and not the manager of the establishment, the venue can re-open again at anytime... We have asked the police to keep an eye on proceedings.

We have also written to Punch Taverns requesting a meeting to discuss both the future of [the two pubs they run] and to put forward some ideas we have for them, notably as possible arts and cultural venues, complementing more traditional community focussed public house activities.


* And why on earth is the council spending money campaigning for more police officers in the borough? Can't they, er, just employ a few more?

7 comments:

Lola said...

"more traditional community focussed public house activities.2

- so that's singing loudly and out of tune whilst getting pissed in a group, then?

I'll vote for that. (And I'll tell you what, after closing time, when we have a lock in, the local plod will come off duty and come in the back door and join in. It used to happen in the country pubs round my way, and it was great and no-one cared are suffered in any way.)

Tim Almond said...

"notably as possible arts and cultural venues"

oh dear god. Not that.

Incidentally, have you noticed that even when you have councils run by Conservatives that any council run arts facilities still overwhelmingly support left-wing art? Weird.

Steven_L said...

It's probably a case of 'We want more cops but don't want to give the Met any of our budget'.

Expect to see a lot more of gvt depts etc begging off/bribing each other as the squeeze comes.

Pogo said...

"more traditional community focussed public house activities."

... You mean, like, smoking?? :-)

James Higham said...

Public house in Russia is a brothel. They think it is amusing that we drink in a pub.

xplod said...

The Police employ police officers, not Councils - which is why the Council is campaiging for this. Not that the cops will do anything....

Mark Wadsworth said...

xplod, but councils decide on police budgets and so on, OK the matter might not be as clear cut as that, but if a council wants more police officers, then the last thing it should be doing is arranging photo-ops with schoolchildren waving fancy pre-printed banners.