"UK schools slip down global table"

As if we didn't know this already.

Nulab's f***witted response? Not, as you might expect, "Oh dear, our ideas have failed miserably, let's go back to doing whatever it was that we were doing ten years ago." Oh no, far too obvious, too cheap and too simple, the solution must be More Of The Same! More Meddling! More 'Investment'! More Targets!

Schools Minister Jim Knight: "We are putting a relentless focus on the progress of every individual through programmes such as Every Child Counts and personalised learning so that we know exactly where progress is made and where children are falling behind."