Wednesday, 28 October 2015

Trying for a baby

In the context of nothing in particular, it struck me recently that 'trying for a baby' is actually quite weird when you are doing it.

At the risk of generalising, when you first start off, it is purely a pleasure/recreational thing and you both go to a lot of trouble to make sure that it doesn't result in a pregnancy. Males and females do this for a decade or so until they 'settle down and decide to start a family'.

Then for the first few years after you get married, the gloves are off, and all the habits and instincts that you have developed are overturned but initially it seems quite unnatural not to use contraception. You both know deep down that you are playing with powerful forces of nature - for good or bad - far beyond your control.

Then you have all the nerve wracking pregnancy stuff to go through*, two or three cute little babies** arrive until you both decide you've had enough of sleepless nights, dramatic loss of earnings etc, you struggle through the rushing around taking them to different child minders, nurseries - all at huge expense - and schools until it all settles down again.

Five or ten years into the marriage, that's enough kids thank you very much, and you go back to doing it purely for pleasure/recreational reasons, you start 'taking precautions' again, dreading the very thought of the thin blue line, the ingrained instincts kick in again and this seems perfectly natural and normal for the rest of your life.

* My heart goes out to couples who want to have babies but physically can't, that's not the issue here.

** For some reason, your own babies are much cuter than the average baby, everybody says that. Some sort of bias going on, I suspect.

Disclaimer: I've been married twice and my kids are aged between 12 and 26. I'm not doing that again and wouldn't want to. But I'm glad I did/glad to have it over with.


Random said...

Because they look like you? That's why they are "cuter"?
BTW, retired doing well:

Bayard said...

'settle down and decide to start a family'

I do hate that expression*, with its implication that childless people have no family, no matter how many parents, grandparents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles etc they may have.

*also "have you got a family?" meaning, "do you have children?"

Graeme said...

it's all the pretending to have a headache that gets wearing after a while....

Random said...
£1800 rise in retired household median income since 2007/2008.

Mark Wadsworth said...

R, no. I am a baby snob. Some of them really are a delight. Most are embarrassingly ugly, no matter what their parents think.

B, I too hate the expression, hence the speechmarks.

G, as somebody once said "we are sexually compatible. We have both normally got a headache."

Lola said...

Er, and how does all this relate to LVT, exactly?

Sibley's B'stard Spawn said...

I suspect we're hardwired to find our offspring attractive. Besides you'd never be able to prove it; I can't imagine any parent of an ugly child would admit as much.

I'd advise the snip, makes life a lot easier. And cheaper.

James Higham said...

Three chapters of my long book was about just that - two people trying for a baby. They were not each other's partners.

Bayard said...

Lola, see Random's comments, OT, but OT if you see what I mean.