Daily Mail on top form

'Mary Poppins' nanny hired on Gumtree 'stole £171,000 worth of valuables from her investment banker boss

Third bullet point:

* Also accused of taking designer clothes after ransacking £3.5m home

She clearly wasn't Mary Poppins though. Fourth bullet point:

* Police found her days later, driving around in employer's top-of-range car

Surely the real Mary Poppins would have used her umbrella to fly away.