Friday, 20 December 2013

I'm not sure what level of reality they are operating on here...

From the back of a packet of "Colman's Chilli Con Carne" powder*:
* It's good stuff if you follow the instructions to the letter.


Furor Teutonicus said...

O.K for a family of one.... or a medium sized cat.

View from the Solent said...

No garlic?

Steven_L said...

What, calling the basic spices you put in chilli a 'unique blend'? Telling you to drain off the 'excess' fat from your 'lean' mince?

I don't get it, but I'm with VftS on the garlic!

Do you think the label is misleading somehow?

DP said...

Dear Mr Wadsworth

Are you referring to:

a. the 'Shopping List' includes a sachet* of Colman's Chilli Con Carne Recipe Mix

b. 400 grammes TFUoM** are actually 14.08 ounces

c. ***

d. instruction 2 requires the water and sachet contents to be added to the mince - no mention of the onions

e. the first line states 'quickly creates' while instruction 6 require 20 minutes of simmering ****

f. instructions 4 and 5 specify boiling and simmering for 20 minutes, making the 'until thoroughly cooked' somewhat redundant

g. instruction 6 demands further assurances of hotness despite boiling and simmering as noted above

h. the first line refers to 'medium-heat chilli', while instruction 6 demands 'piping hot' *****

i. instruction 6 states 'serve immediately' whilst 'piping hot' - are they mad?

j. where did the rice come from?


* obviously this sachet is from your copious stores, and therefore you need to buy a replacement

** Totalitarian Fascist Units of Measure

*** already done - instruction 1 draining the 'excess' fat - a valuable source of energy

**** I don't call that 'quickly' creating anything edible

***** wish they'd make up their mind

Bayard said...

In my experience, item 1 should read "Drain off the excess water while frying or you will get boiled mince, not fried." This is quite tricky, because of the amount of water "lean" mince produces when fried. The reference to excess fat must be to the fat you have to put into the pan to start with in order to fry the mince, it not having any fat of its own because fat is evil.
Also it's better to fry the onions separately, as meat is best fried at a temperature that will burn the onions.
DP, the excess fatty water should really be reserved and added back to the mix later, once you've persuaded the mince to stop producing water and f*cking well fry.

Lola said...

Coooo, you must be buying some really bad mince, probably ex supermarket where they alledgedly add water to it. I but 'steak mince' from local butchers and no excess water whilst browning.

And overall, why does anyone need the Colmans product - surely everyone keeps all those spices in stock?

(I agree on the garlic, plus I add celery and carrots and extra beans. Some people add a lump of dark chocolate as well.)

Dinero said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dinero said...

My guess is mark is refering to "this packet creates a chilli" and then gives you a seperate shopping list of chilli con carne ingredients.

I agree with Lola. Add more Beans. Chilli con carne translates as chilli with meat and it makes sense to keep it that way for economy and taste.

You can get "Value" rate chilli beans for 14p a can in the supermarket. The way supermarkets divide their products into three catogaries would make an interesting topic for a post on its own. I think it was started by the milk marketing board.


How Sheldon in the Big Bang Theory TV show can claim that chilli does not contain beans is odd, but he is from Texas so they may have their own ideas.

Mark Wadsworth said...

DP was closest -

a) Instead of "ingredients" it says "shopping list", fair enough, but

b) surely there is no need to add "this packet" to the top of the list and who on earth buys a quarter of a pint of cold water?

c) you don't buy chopped onions or a can of drained beans either.

Dinero said...

On the other hand if we translate chilli con carne as chilli peppers with meat then Sheldon is correct , no beans in chilli con carne.

Pablo said...

You've certainly opened a can of worrums with this one!

Mark Wadsworth said...

is proper chilli con carne supposed to include a can of worms? That's not on the shopping list.

Bayard said...

Lola, yup, supermarket mince. No point in wasting expensive mince on chilli con carne. Also red wine is better than water you need garlic and, I agree the recipe is under-beaned.

Lola said...

Bayard. Au contraire. Not only is 'my' butchers mince better than the supermarkets, it is also cheaper...

Bayard said...

L, thanks for the tip. One day , when I am passing the butcher's when it is open and there is somewhere to park, I will go and buy some mince and see if it is any better. If it has fat in it, not water, then it would be worth paying a bit extra, and if it is cheaper then so much the better.