Tuesday 26 November 2013

"Nigella Lawson was so off her head on cocaine that she allowed her assistants to spend £300,000 on crap"

From The Daily Mail:

Charles Saatchi accused his former wife Nigella Lawson of being 'so off your heads on drugs' that she allowed their personal assistants to spend whatever they liked, a court heard.

Italian sisters Francesca and Elisabetta Grillo are accused of using company credit cards to spend £300,000 on over-hyped 'works of art' including
an unmade bed and papier-maché sculptures of household objects...

"You couldn't give this
crap away," fumed the multi-millionaire former advertising executive. "And they've filled our whole attic with this bullshit."

I'd love to have scripted that episode of her cookery show:

Nigella, huskily to camera: "If you've just come back from holiday in Amsterdam or Morrocco with a 'little something extra' in your luggage and you've invited friends round to celebrate, remember that they'll get peckish very quickly...

[Cutaway shot: Nigella holding a small brown-ish lump stuck on the end of a safety pin, just above a candle flame]

"It can be awkward deciding who pops out to the petrol station for crisps or chocolate cookies just when everybody's getting mellow, so why not rustle up your own beforehand?"

3 comments:

ageing man said...

Oh god I am soooooo buying a Nigella christmas cake from Marks & Spencer this christmas..... icing to die for !

Mark Wadsworth said...

AM, interesting. Does she chuck in a bit of cannabis resin to make it "more-ish"?

ageing man said...

well whatever she chucks in, I bet it's spliffing ..... It should actually be quite interesting when she takes to the stag..ach erm witness box. Under oath she will face a tough call. Tell the truth and it's all a storm in a tea cup, with the hope that the email having been written with malice a fore thought..... or lie and be damned if the email speaks the truth....
Whatever happens I hope she takes something suitable to relax her when she hits the witness box.