Tuesday, 26 November 2013

"Nigella Lawson was so off her head on cocaine that she allowed her assistants to spend £300,000 on crap"

From The Daily Mail:

Charles Saatchi accused his former wife Nigella Lawson of being 'so off your heads on drugs' that she allowed their personal assistants to spend whatever they liked, a court heard.

Italian sisters Francesca and Elisabetta Grillo are accused of using company credit cards to spend £300,000 on over-hyped 'works of art' including
an unmade bed and papier-maché sculptures of household objects...

"You couldn't give this
crap away," fumed the multi-millionaire former advertising executive. "And they've filled our whole attic with this bullshit."

I'd love to have scripted that episode of her cookery show:

Nigella, huskily to camera: "If you've just come back from holiday in Amsterdam or Morrocco with a 'little something extra' in your luggage and you've invited friends round to celebrate, remember that they'll get peckish very quickly...

[Cutaway shot: Nigella holding a small brown-ish lump stuck on the end of a safety pin, just above a candle flame]

"It can be awkward deciding who pops out to the petrol station for crisps or chocolate cookies just when everybody's getting mellow, so why not rustle up your own beforehand?"


ageing man said...

Oh god I am soooooo buying a Nigella christmas cake from Marks & Spencer this christmas..... icing to die for !

Mark Wadsworth said...

AM, interesting. Does she chuck in a bit of cannabis resin to make it "more-ish"?

ageing man said...

well whatever she chucks in, I bet it's spliffing ..... It should actually be quite interesting when she takes to the stag..ach erm witness box. Under oath she will face a tough call. Tell the truth and it's all a storm in a tea cup, with the hope that the email having been written with malice a fore thought..... or lie and be damned if the email speaks the truth....
Whatever happens I hope she takes something suitable to relax her when she hits the witness box.