"Your spouse's credit card spending sees slight dip"

From the BBC:

Your spouse put £12,060 on the plastic in the financial year to April 2013, slightly lower than the amount by which he/she* overspent in the previous year. The amount was just £30 lower than the previous year's total of £12,090. You have slammed the credit card spending as "catastrophically off course" and said it "would take 400 years to balance the family's books."

Following a heated argument about whether "400 years" was a wild exaggeration or actually understating the enormity of the situation, your spouse has promised to stop using his/her* credit and store cards by 2017 or 2018. His/her* spokesman said: "Though it is taking time, he/she is fixing your household's economic problems. His/her* credit spending is a third lower than a few years ago, several whizz bang new electronic gadgets/complete new outfits including shoes* have been acquired and interest rates are at near-record lows, benefiting you and your business."

The cost of his/her* unnecessary shopping sprees in March fell to £1,510 from £1,670 a year earlier, excluding one-off items such as the interest charge on the accumulated debts of £100,000 said the Office for Nagging Spouses (ONS). And that new set of golf clubs/D&G designer handbag* that were in the sales and actually saved you money in the long term.

* Delete according to gender/sexuality.