Miranda's Prayer

Maybe I've spent too much time at children's carol services and watching police reality shows on the telly, but to me it all sounds like this:

Our Father, who art under arrest,
Hallowed be thy suspicion.
Thy kingdom come,
Thou doth not have to say anything
On earth as it is in heaven.
But it may harm our daily bread,
If you do not forgive when questioned
Anything we do say.
Forgive us our trespasses,
As we later rely on those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evidence in court.

Amen

In some Roman Catholic congregations, it is also considered acceptable for the village idiot to jump up towards the end and shout "So tonight thank God it's them inste-ead of you!"