"How do I add my own stuff to the police.uk crime map, ask criminals"

Newsarse, which appears to have renamed itself Newsthump, reports thusly:

The new site allows you to see how much crime there is within a stone’s throw of where you sleep at night, and provides a helpful percentage figure for your chances of seeing out the year unharmed.

However, many tech-savvy criminals have slated the new site, insisting it is limited in functionality, and fails to adopt the new mantra of ‘user-generated content’ seen on the world’s most successful websites.

Shane Connolly, 28, told us, “This is the age of web 2.0, geo-tagging and user-generated content, which I’m happy to provide, if only they’d let me add my stuff to the bloody map. What’s the point of successfully robbing someone and then intimidating them to such an extent that they won’t report it to the police, if it then appears like there’s nothing going on in my manor? It looks like I’m not even trying. Everyone keeps ringing me saying my estate is ‘safe’, and not in the cool way. It’s embarrassing.”