Friday 20 August 2010

Parody Singularity

Spotted by Snowdon in ASH's Essential Information on Smoking In Cars:

Why opening a window won't help: Opening a window does not reduce the levels of secondhand smoke in a car to a safe level as the smoke simply blows back into the vehicle, often lingering for hours.

Bonus points to the first person who lights up in a car and tells the inevitable smokophobe "There's no point opening a window, the smoke will just blow back in and linger for hours."

16 comments:

Witterings from Witney said...

So when I press the button in my car and the roof disappears I suppose I am just increasing the rate at which the smoke blows back and consequently it lingers for longer than 'hours'?

God these people make me sick!

Bayard said...

Yeah, I wonder if, when the ban on smoking in cars is implemented, convertibles will be exempt, if they have the roof down. If they are, then what about with the roof up and all windows open? I'm looking forward to seeing the "scientific" justification for banning smoking in an essentially open-sided car, or better still, in an open car.

Mark Wadsworth said...

WFW, B, don't forget we live in a country where it is forbidden to smoke on outdoor railway platforms.

Witterings from Witney said...

"forbidden to smoke on outdoor railway platforms"

Shit" Are we??? Hope the CCTVs weren't working!

Suppose I am 'on the list' now?

Mark Wadsworth said...

WFW, I have been ticked off for this on many an occasion, even if I shuffle along right to the end where there's no roof.

RantinRab said...

When I smoked, (gave up a few months ago), the only reason I opened the car window when smoking was to flick out the ash.

Mark Wadsworth said...

RR, that's two-thirds of the point of opening the window.

It's the used ash tray that stinks up your car, not the smoke, which dissipates after a couple of minutes.

Bayard said...

I'm not sure you can smoke in a convertible with the hood down, come to think of it. Wouldn't the wind make the cigarette burn down too fast? I'm not a smoker, so I wouldn't know.

Witterings from Witney said...

Bayard: re your last query re a convertible - bit like oral sex, if you don't keep sucking it sort of 'goes out'!

Witterings from Witney said...

Bayard; sorry correction: forgot to say if you 'roll our own' that is!

dearieme said...

"I'm not sure you can smoke in a convertible with the hood down": hell's bells, I used to smoke my pipe while motorcycling.

TheFatBigot said...

It's yer Bernoulli effect innit.

Air on the outside of the window is moving faster than air inside the car, causing air inside the car to be sucked out. Like what happens with a chimney.

Smoke cannot be blown back into the car because once drawn out it is several yards behind the vehicle in a matter of seconds.

These people are ignorant scum. When not lying they assert the opposite of a physical effect established in the late 18th Century and unquestioned since then (for the simple reason that it happens and can be observed happening). Scum, scum, scum, scum, scum.

Bayard said...

D, I thought about the effect on a pipe and reckoned a pipe would be OK, what with having unadulterated tobacco and the shielding effect of the bowl.

TFB, I don't think many of ASH's "target audience" know about the Bernoulli Effect. This is all about scaring the ignorant, not educating the knowledgeable.

James Higham said...

Perhaps if my father had opened the windows even a little, I'd not be in the respiratory state I am now.

Rational Anarchist said...

I'm not a smoker. I have asthma and get severe hayfever and I do have trouble around people who are smoking, so to alleviate that I just make a point not to be there. I guess I'd have a vested interest in supporting the smoking ban, but I always had the option of leaving, walking a little way away - even politely asking the person not to smoke, if necessary. I think the smoking ban is really quite shocking. (And I have to say that it's a good example of hypocrisy in action. If smoking is so bad, why not ban it? Because they'd lose the tax revenue, clearly...)

That said, I think that if they did insist on a smoking ban, they should have done it the other way around. Ban smoking in public, permit it in private (so long as the owner doesn't want it banned). Thus, pubs would be fine and could choose whether or not to ban it, but I'd not have to get a lungful every time I pass a bus stop (and yes, technically I think it's banned at bus stops now - do you really think anyone pays attention? They certainly don't in Croydon).

Bessie said...

"... the smoke simply blows back into the vehicle, often lingering for hours."

No it doesn't. Not if you open the window wide enough. I speak from experience: my dad (40 a day until he was 60) used to drive me to school. It was occasionally a bit draughty, but I survived.

For the record, I am a smokophobe. However, daft pronouncements like this one from ASH do absolutely no good.