Via JuliaM, from The News Shopper (worth a click for the staged pictures alone, especially the close up of a sprained ankle):
AN ELDERLY dancer is the latest person who has fallen victim to an (sic) horrific crow attack. Last month, News Shopper revealed how blonde joggers* in an Eltham Park were being terrorised by a crow. Now 75-year-old great-grandmother Edna Lunt, of Nelgarde Road, Catford, has revealed how she was recently attacked by a bloodthirsty bird in her own garden.
She said: "I pulled my sunchair towards the light. As I sat down on it, it tipped up backwards. While my legs were up in the air this crow came down and started dive-bombing me and making screeching noises. It was like a horror movie**. I got up and started running. I shouted 'It's after me,' and then I fell in the flower bed."
Cows, crows, where will it end...
* "Blonde joggers"? What term would they have used had one been blonde and one brunette?
** "a horror movie"? Not "the..."?
Thursday 10 June 2010
Cows call in air support
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
wot's wrong with an horrific, pray ?
And why "an horrific crow attack" but not "an horror movie"?
ND, because it's not a silent 'h'. Compare and contrast:
"An honest mistake"
"A horrible mistake"
See also what EKTWP says.
I wonder if these events had anything to do with the ingesion of alcohol (or some other substance) - not by the crows (he he), but by the individuals, whose judgement and perceptions were affected. What was all that stuff about a chair tipping up and legs in the air -- enough to scare a poor crow witless. And then the real give-away: and then I fell in the flower bed. At which the crow murmured "oh dear, how undignified - it's not even any fun when they're that sloshed" and flew off to find someone with an improbable name (like Edna Lunt or Lorna Luft) and advanced dementia with whom to play blood-lust. Cawwwwww!
(Of course, all of this could THEN become part of the alcohol statistics - numbers of crows unjustly persecuted, flower-beds flattened, cases of terminal senile dementia accelerated - caused by alcohol, and the cost to the economy thereof.)
"Mrs Lunt, a keen dancer and former actress,"
which would explain a lot. I've never known a luvvie who wouldn't make a drama out of the simplest incident, given half a chance and if the press are involved, well...
CB, B, I must confess that I once sat down on a chair which fell backwards into a flower bed. I was very drunk at the time.
Which is why I came to no harm, I just stood up, righted the chair and pretended that nothing had happened. I suppose I should've rung the local newspaper...
Post a Comment