Life copies satire

From The Evening Standard:

The arrival of sandwich chain Pret A Manger in Brick Lane has sparked claims that one of the most creative neighbourhoods in London is losing its soul.

Opponents claim the opening is a sign of the Shoreditch area’s gentrification and called for the protection of independent businesses. The outlet, on the corner of Bethnal Green Road and the north section of Brick Lane, was formerly the Von Tromp pub, which closed in 1990, and was most recently the Benets of Cambridge ice cream parlour.

Jay Sword, 25, a global account manager, said: “It’s gentrification. I’ve lived here for four years and the area has become more commercial, pushing out smaller independents, which are friendlier. Pret have another branch just 200 metres away. It doesn’t have a soul.”

To his credit, the journalist managed to get sound bites from others with typical hipster job descriptions...

From the comments:

Red onion A Global account manager, a TV producer, a Costume maker and a Social media co-ordinator bemoan the way Brick Lane is being ‘gentrified’. You could not make it up.

Fun Online Polls: The CPI shopping basket & Your favourite season

The responses to last week's Fun Online Poll were as follows:

Which of the following were just added to the CPI 'shopping basket' (multiple answers allowed)?

Craft ales - 25 votes
Spotify - 19 votes
Oversized headphones - 17 votes
Irony - 15 votes
Checked shirts, buttoned at the top - 8 votes
Brown lace-up shoes - 7 votes
Vinyl - 7 votes
Chunky knitwear - 6 votes
Skinny jeans - 6 votes
Tasteful tattoos - 6 votes
Red rimmed spectacles - 5 votes

By some miracle of the wisdom of crowds, the first three items were in fact the correct answers, I made the rest of them up just to go with the hipster theme.

Thank you everybody who took part.
----------------------------
Over the past few weeks, there has been the occasional hour or two where it was warm enough to sit outside, for the first time in months.

So I've decided that although I like Xmas best of all, summer is definitely my favourite season. I'd be quite happy if it were summer all year round, with winter restricted to a couple of weeks either side of Xmas, and with obligatory snow from Xmas Eve through to Boxing Day.

What does everybody else think?

Vote here or use the widget in the sidebar.

Fun Online Polls: The nation's shopping basket

Inspired by The Daily Mail.

Vote here or use the widget in the sidebar.

Can anybody else spot the obvious flaw in their strategy?

From The Mirror:

A “jokey” comic book strip called Hipster Hitler which portrays the Nazi leader as a trendy geek has been slammed by Jewish activists.

The group have pledged to shred all copies of the book that shows the murderous dictator wearing black-rimmed glasses and cardigan...

Fellow member Ilana Katz said: "If we can't get shops to stop selling copies we'll buy and shred them all. Since when was it okay to promote Hitler as a cool person?"

And technically, it would have been funnier had the activists pledged to burn all the copies of the book rather than shred them.

"Growth of the turn-up hits jeans industry"

From The Telegraph:

Once shunned by fashionistas as less than de rigueur, turned-up jeans now have the endorsement of hipster and celebrity alike.

I'm wearing yellow socks

Leonardo Di Caprio, George Clooney and David Beckham have all exposed an extra inch of sock with gusto. And thousands of young, fixed gear bicycle-riding, Hackney-dwelling twenty-somethings have followed suit.

I'll see your yellow socks and raise you pink

But the revival of the turn-up could be hurting what had was once seen as an unstoppable growth industry - men's jeans which fit properly.

I'll trump those with one pink and one yellow

Europe has also undergone something of a turn-up renaissance. Stores in Europe sold £72 million less in jeans which  were neither too short nor too long this year than last. However it would be too soon to predict the demise of denim - retailers still sold £2.2 billion worth of jeans and denim jackets and waistcoats across the EU in the period.

Ha! I'm not even wearing socks!

The news was welcomed by the European Association Of Dayglo Sock And Shoelace Retailers who reported surging sales. Sales of black shoe polish have also taken a hit as hipsters made the switch to brown brogues.

Even on Monday to Thursday. With turned-up jeans. FFS.