Life copies satire

From The Daily Mail:

Paul Gascoigne reveals he used to get upset when he heard the Gaza Strip mentioned on the news - because he thought they were talking about him.

It's a good job he didn't read about the Gazza ceasefire collapsing!

Warsi gets arsey...

... over Gazi:

Foreign Office minister Baroness Warsi has resigned from the government, saying its policy on the crisis in Gaza is "morally indefensible"...

Labour leader Ed Miliband told the BBC: "The government's position is wrong and I think Sayeeda Warsi's statement is completely right about this." He said that Mr Cameron had to "think much more clearly" about policy on Gaza and had to "break his silence" over Israel's actions.

The UK government's does not appear to have any 'policy' whatsoever on the current Israel-Gaza flare up, and rightly so. It's none of our business, not our fault, not our problem.*

I mean, if there were any Jewish members of the Cabinet (I'm not sure there are) would we expect them to resign for the fact that Cameron has failed to 'condemn' Hamas' idiotic behaviour?

* I'm not exactly Cameron's biggest fan, but he is a great war leader, up there with John Major. For whatever reason, right or wrong (i.e. oil), Cameron and Sarkozy decided to help topple Gaddafi and they got away with it, quick in and out, job done. Choose your battles and choose ones you can win (see also the 1991 Iraq/Kuwait pushover, also not uncoincidentally about oil), not this Iraq or Afghanistan nonsense.

"Gaza's Property Ladder"

S G emailed in this article from Channel 4, worth reading in full, but just to whet your appetite...

In war-torn Gaza, 'Location, Location, Location' means finding an apartment in one of the highly sought-after areas that are usually not shelled or hit by missiles.

Reporter Seyi Rhodes and producer Daniel Bogado... meet Essam Mortja, an estate agent and property developer who says his property business is booming. He shows them some of the glitzy properties he's helped sell at prices of up to US $3 million.

Property prices for luxury villas and apartments in elite areas like El Remal are on par with London and New York. The area is right by the sea and has stunning views, but there's one other reason why the prices are so high. It's where the UN building is located, which means Israeli planes are less likely to bomb the area.

"Gaza: Ceasefire between Hamas and Israel holds for over an hour"

From The Metro:

At least three rockets were fired into Israel after the truce came into effect an hour ago, Israel said, but two were intercepted by the Iron Dome defence system and a third landed in uninhabited territory. No missiles have been reported for over half an hour, however, which by their standards counts as a long and stable peace.

Last night Palestinians celebrated the 'victory' over Israel: "Allahu akbar, [God is greatest], dear people of Gaza you won," mosque loudspeakers in Gaza blared last night. "You have broken the arrogance of the Jews. We have crushed them like spiders. Will the last Zionist oppressor to leave please turn out the lights."

"These people made this victory by their patience, by the blood of our people,' said Hamas spokesman Ihab Hussein.

As this afternoon's lull in the fighting dragged on, hopes were high that it might break the record set by the legendary "Weekend Peace" which lasted for over twelve hours in February 2005.

Further attempts by Hamas leaders to draw parallels between the Israeli bombardment of Gaza and the Nazi crushing of the Warsaw Uprising in 1944 were deemed inadmissible under Godwin's Law. "The Jewish inhabitants of Warsaw had all been murdered by then anyway," said the Israeli Defence Force spokesman, "So the intended irony falls flat on its Arab arse."

"Gazza ceasefire collapses"

From The Daily Mail:

Egypt's prime minister rushed to the aid of the troubled former England striker today in the midst of an Israeli offensive, calling the Israeli attacks 'a blatant aggression against humanity.'

In the first possible break in the escalating conflict, Israel had announced it would suspend military operations against the erstwhile Kettering Town manager during Egyptian Prime Minister Hisham Kandil's arrival in the then recovering alcoholic's enclave.

But as rockets blasted through the dawn sky, it was clear that promises of a three-hour ceasefire between Israel and Gazza had failed. Rockets fired from Newcastle United's most famous number eight's back window hit several sites in southern Israel so the Israeli air force responded with an attack on the now relapsed alcoholic's house, a source said.

But Israel's military strongly denied carrying out any attacks from the time Kandil entered the divorced father of one's home, and accused him of violating the three-hour deal.

"Israel has not attacked Gazza for the past two hours," a spokesman said.

"Even though about 50 rockets have fallen in Israel over the past two hours, we chose not to attack Gazza's dwelling due to the visit of the Egyptian prime minister. He is lying and reporting otherwise," the army said in a Twitter message.

Prime Minister Hisham Kandil visited the 45-year old to bring him a can of lager, some chicken and a fishing rod after two days of relentless attacks by Israeli warplanes determined to end the rocket fire at Israel. Kandil was greeted by the convicted drink-driver, who was making his first public appearance since his trial at Newcastle Magistrate's Court in 2010.

"It was premeditated, not panic"

... says our spotter, Sarton Bander.

From Yahoo.com:

GAZA CITY, Gaza Strip (AP) — A panicking cow killed a Palestinian man who was trying to slaughter the beast on Saturday during the Muslim celebration of Eid al-Adha, a Gaza health official said.

Muslims around the world slaughter sheep, cows and goats during the four-day holiday that began Friday to commemorate the sacrifice by their Prophet Ibrahim — known to Christians and Jews as Abraham.

But accidents are common as people frequently buy animals to slaughter at home instead of relying on professional butchers. The festive atmosphere surrounding the site of the slaughtering also tends to make the animals fidgety.

In addition to the death, Gaza heath official Ashraf al-Kidra said that 150 other people were hospitalized in the Gaza Strip with knife wounds or other injuries caused by animals trying to break away.

Ricardo's Law in action in the Gaza Strip

There's a video report at the BBC, which explains:

Almost four years after the conflict with Israel, Gaza is enjoying a period of relative calm. That in part has led to a surge in the value of land, with prices more than doubling in the past two years.

Which is what we would expect. When peace breaks out, or a ceasefire seems to be fairly durable, confidence returns, business activity returns and population grows, so the rental value of land goes up.

And who benefits?

A lucky few who happened to be registered as landowners beforehand:

At one of the hotels he owns on Gaza's seafront, I meet Abdel Aziz Khaldi, one of the strip's richest men. To look at, he's not a flash character, more of a middle manager than a multi-millionaire.

But there are a few signs of wealth...

Of course there aren't, because his gain is everybody else's loss.

He says Gaza's fast-rising population and tiny size make land a good investment. He adds that prices are highest in Gaza City, which people believe would be safer in the event of another war with Israel.

Wierd

From The Metro:

Mr Cameron also said Turkey's support for action in Afghanistan would help earn it a place in the EU (1). 'When I think about what Turkey has done to defend Europe as a Nato ally, and what Turkey is doing today in Afghanistan, it makes me angry that your progress towards EU membership can be frustrated in the way it has been,' he added.

Pointing to economic growth of 11 per cent this year and a population of 72 million, he said allowing Turkey into the EU would be great for British trade (2).

1) What on earth does Afgh have to do with anything? There are plenty of non-EU countries who have sent troops to Afgh - primarily the USA, but also Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Azerbaijan and Singapore - does this mean that they ought to be invited to join the EU? In any event, it is entirely up to the Turkish government whether they think it is in their national interest to get involved, and if they'd rather not get involved, then that's between them and NATO.

2) And what's stopping the UK from having free trade with Turkey? I can only assume it's the EU, ergo it would be a lot quicker and simpler for the UK to leave the EU and sign a bilateral free trade treaty with Turkey, job done.

PS, Gaza is not a prison camp.

Sabbath-night* gear change

Thanks to AVI who alerts me to the cracking gear change at 4 minutes in to this:

* OK, technically. it is probably not the Sabbath any more where I am, depending on which three stars have to appear etc etc.

Victimhood Poker

From the BBC:

Israel has ... been building a controversial barrier in and around the occupied West Bank in recent years. It says it is needed to defend Israeli citizens from attacks by militants. Palestinians, however, consider it a land grab. In 2004, the International Court of Justice in The Hague issued an advisory ruling that the barrier was illegal and should be removed.

Egypt is meanwhile building an underground barrier along its border with Gaza to stem the smuggling of weapons through tunnels.

Fun Online Poll: The Middle East Conflict

Acres and acres of newsprint and the 'blogosphere* have been devoted to discussing the current spat between Israel and the Palestinians/Hamas in the Gaza Strip. Not much of it adds to the debate because commentators have actually already made up their minds where their sympathies lie and are merely re-hashing existing prejudices.

So here's your chance to say 99% of what you have to say** in one mouse-click and get it over with (or use the widget in my side-bar).

* To the extent that the 'blogosphere can be measured in 'acres'.

** I voted "The Israelis", FWIW, to get the ball rolling.

Results