From the BBC
David Beckham is to retire from pretending to be important to football at the end of this season after an illustrious 10-year career that actually ended about 10 years ago.
The former Real Madrid pretender won very little there in 4 years, then going to play in the joke of the US league at LA Galaxy, making sod all difference to England, before having a career at PSG that was even shorter than that pope in the 1970s.
"I'm thankful to PSG for giving me the opportunity to bring me on occassionally as a substitute and to flog some merchandise, but frankly, I've been flogging this dead horse for too long" he said. He is the only English player to have dragged his irrelevance along for so many years.
"If you had told me as a player that I would be able to keep a load of idiots thinking that I mattered to football for so long, ligging around with the England team, crowding out better players from the side and being a media whore for so long, I would have told you it was a fantasy," he said.
"I'm fortunate to have realised those dreams."
Beckham started his irrelevance as a trainee in 2003, after Alex Ferguson was quite happy to let him go, making his move to Real Madrid, where he was released to go to LA Galaxy. He then did very little at AC Milan.
He turned up for England, scored the odd goal, and to help promote his global brand value, while denying international midfield experience to better players as the press continued to call for his overrated skills to be picked.
He became one of the highest paid advertising brands, flogging everything from boxer shorts to crappy perfume and sunglasses.
"I want people to see me as a hardworking brand presence - someone who, when he steps in front of the camera at a photoshoot or appears at a PR event, he gives everything he's got. When I look back on my career that is how I look back on it and that is how I hope people have seen me."
Beckham was the first sporting irrelevance to have 3 consecutive marketing campaigns and earns more money than any other former sporting irrelevance.
UK Prime Minister David Cameron said: "I have absolutely no idea about football, but like everyone else, I've heard of David Beckham, so I assume he is a brilliant footballer"
"Not only that - he appears on lots of ads and working class people seem to like him, and I'm desperate for votes. So, yay. Soccer."
England manager Roy Hodgson added: "Thank goodness for that. I'm tired of trying to explain to idiots in pubs why I don't pick him, and now I can just say 'well, I would, but he's retired."
The former Real Madrid pretender won very little there in 4 years, then going to play in the joke of the US league at LA Galaxy, making sod all difference to England, before having a career at PSG that was even shorter than that pope in the 1970s.
"I'm thankful to PSG for giving me the opportunity to bring me on occassionally as a substitute and to flog some merchandise, but frankly, I've been flogging this dead horse for too long" he said. He is the only English player to have dragged his irrelevance along for so many years.
"If you had told me as a player that I would be able to keep a load of idiots thinking that I mattered to football for so long, ligging around with the England team, crowding out better players from the side and being a media whore for so long, I would have told you it was a fantasy," he said.
"I'm fortunate to have realised those dreams."
Beckham started his irrelevance as a trainee in 2003, after Alex Ferguson was quite happy to let him go, making his move to Real Madrid, where he was released to go to LA Galaxy. He then did very little at AC Milan.
He turned up for England, scored the odd goal, and to help promote his global brand value, while denying international midfield experience to better players as the press continued to call for his overrated skills to be picked.
He became one of the highest paid advertising brands, flogging everything from boxer shorts to crappy perfume and sunglasses.
"I want people to see me as a hardworking brand presence - someone who, when he steps in front of the camera at a photoshoot or appears at a PR event, he gives everything he's got. When I look back on my career that is how I look back on it and that is how I hope people have seen me."
Beckham was the first sporting irrelevance to have 3 consecutive marketing campaigns and earns more money than any other former sporting irrelevance.
UK Prime Minister David Cameron said: "I have absolutely no idea about football, but like everyone else, I've heard of David Beckham, so I assume he is a brilliant footballer"
"Not only that - he appears on lots of ads and working class people seem to like him, and I'm desperate for votes. So, yay. Soccer."
England manager Roy Hodgson added: "Thank goodness for that. I'm tired of trying to explain to idiots in pubs why I don't pick him, and now I can just say 'well, I would, but he's retired."
