Showing posts with label Celebrocracy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Celebrocracy. Show all posts

Wednesday, 13 January 2016

Often Problematic

From the Daily Mail,

Gary Lineker and his wife Danielle have split after six years of marriage amid claims that they disagreed over starting a family together.
The pair confirmed their divorce today, just over six years after the former footballer and actress were married in Italy in 2009, but they insist they remain on good terms.
It is believed that Danielle, 36, wanted to start a family but former footballer Lineker, 55, who already has four children, feels he is too old to father another.
The problem is here that older men like sex with young women, but often don't want kids, especially if they've already got some. But young women want kids, especially if like his wife, she's only got 1.

I'm surprised it's taken 6 years.

Monday, 27 April 2015

"We had hundreds of family meetings..."

From The Daily Mail:

The Kardashian family had hundreds of intense, emotional meetings to deal with Kanye West's decision to transition into a twat, Kim Kardashian has revealed.

The reality star told Monday how she, her sisters and her mother Kris Jenner would open their hearts to each other to process the emotional turmoil prompted by the 37-year-old former rap star's decision to consider himself a twat.

She also admitted that the issues of being married to a twat are 'not something... I can fully understand' - but added that understanding wasn't necessary for her to 'support him 100 per cent'

A portion of the interview, with NBC's Today show, which was released over the weekend had already revealed that the whole Kardashian clan is also in therapy to help them deal with the change.

Wednesday, 18 February 2015

Tsk, tsk, bloody women drivers...

The Daily Mail, 6 February 2015:

Bruce Jenner 'gender change' captures US attention

The Daily Mail, 18 February 2015:

Bruce Jenner may be facing manslaughter charges 'after new video shows he DID cause crash that killed 69-year-old widow in front of him'

Wednesday, 1 October 2014

Totally gratuitous and unnecessary

Wednesday, 23 July 2014

George Harrison memorial eaten by beetles

actually spat tea across my screen when I saw this, from the Indy

A pine tree planted in Los Angeles to commemorate the late-Beatles star George Harrison has died – after being consumed by beetles.
Planted as a sapling in 2004 near the Griffith Observatory, the tree stood 10-feet high but died recently as a result of an insect infestation.
The Griffith Park and its observatory are popular tourist spots in LA, but the trees there have been plagued recently by ladybug and bark beetles, both of which can cause extensive damage.
LA councilman Tom LaBonge, who represents the area, told the LA Times that the tree would be replanted. The paper said Harrison, who had a well-developed sense of humour, "likely would have been amused by the irony".

Wednesday, 9 April 2014

Daily Mail on top form

Peaches [Geldof] had a house in the country, worth nearly £1million, bought on her earnings as one of the new breed of media blondes.

Thursday, 13 March 2014

Headline Of The Week: "Kelly Brook's boyfriend crashed van of dead BADGERS during controversial cull"

It's got every element a newspaper story needs.

Thursday, 27 February 2014

"Mark Berry named by ADL as Britain's most popular bus driver"

From The Evening Standard:

Mark Berry has been named as Britain’s most popular bus driver in a survey by the UK's leading coach and bus manufactuer Alexander Dennis (ADL).

A regular driver on the 36 and 68 Manchester to St Helens routes, Berry pipped the London 257 route stalwart Paul Lawson to be crowned the country’s king of buses. 

The poll by ADL ranks the nation’s top bus drivers according to their influence on the UK’s ever-growing passion for public transport.

It also reveals that the Clapton to Victoria Station 38 bus remains the nation’s most frequent, running once a minute at peak times. Passengers' other favourites included queuing in the drizzle and waiting outside Victoria Station.

Berry commented: “Good gracious! I’m very honoured, thank you.”

To see the full list of the UK’s top bus drivers, along with typical waiting times for some of the nation’s favourite bus routes, pick up the latest copy of the ADL price list - available in Waitrose branches from Thursday February 27.

Friday, 14 February 2014

Satire copies satire

The Daily Mash 13 December 2013:

THE writer of a Mail Online story about a ‘baby mama’ has said she once had dreams of doing something worthwhile...

“I was good at English at school. The teachers really liked my stories and said one day I might write a book. I remember having lots of ideas for books, wonderful books full of humanity and meaning.

“Books that didn’t feature the phrase ‘baby mama’. Or ‘side boob’. But the past, as they say, is another country.”

She added: “This office is three stories up. If I jumped out of the window, would it be fatal? Or do I need to go up on the roof?”


The Daily Mash 14 February 2014:

A MEN’S magazine editor is disgusted with himself for doing anything his advertisers ask him to...

“Last month we published six pages of paid-for crud about ‘must-have’ electronic gadgets from various retailers. One of them was a digital barometer, for Christ’s sake.

“Basically I’m prostituting the magazine and myself, although prostitutes have more dignity because they’re doing it to survive. I do it to buy more Ben Sherman shirts.

“Sometimes I go home and shower for hours, trying to wash away the shame of claiming women will sleep with any man who has a patio
heater.”

Thursday, 13 February 2014

Jane Moore on top form

From yesterday's Soaraway Sun:

GEORGIA JAGGER, model and daughter of Sir Mick, has posed in a Save The Arctic T-shirt for Dame Vivienne Westwood, who is passionate about climate change.

Just days later, the 22-year old was pictured sunning herself on a Miami beach.

Presumably, she got there by rowing boat.

Tuesday, 1 October 2013

Fun Online Polls: Help To Buy, Fergie, Prince Andrew

The result in last week's Fun Online Poll was as follows:

If housing were affordable, there would be neither need nor excuse for Help To Buy.

Agree - 89%
Disagree - 4%
Other, please specify - 7%


A good turnout, over a hundred took part and I'm in the clear majority on that one.
--------------------------------------
For a bit of light relief, according to the always reliable and scrupulously accurate Daily Mail*, Fergie and Prince Andrew are going to get married again. Possibly. Hedging their bets nicely there.

Ah bless! I'm neither hard core monarchist nor romantic, but stories about people "finding each other again after xxx years apart" always give me a warm fuzzy glow.

What does the equally well informed readership think?

Vote here or use the widget in the sidebar.

* I'm not joking, while the Mail has a pretty clear and predictable editorial policy, when it comes to rehashing statistics or press releases, they usually include all the important facts and figures, albeit sometimes relegated to the very end of the article when they contradict the actual headline.

Thursday, 20 June 2013

Brief tremor in earth's gravitational field

Look at the first three pictures of this week's Celebrity Bust-up Couple.

In the first picture, the surface of the wine on each glass is level, as you would expect.

In the second picture, the very localised tremor manifests itself in and around Charles' glass and the surface is at an angle:


By the time the third picture was taken, the tremor has passed and the surfaces are both level again.

Wednesday, 24 April 2013

Ooops! Maybe I should have added a further "Off" option to this week's Fun Online Poll.

In this morning's news... Robert Pattinson Jets Back To Los Angeles Following Kristen Stewart, Rupert Sanders Rumours

Monday, 22 April 2013

Fun Online Polls: The Clash, R-Patz & K-Stew

How time flies when you are having fun! I've just noticed that this is the 8,000th post on this here 'blog. My thanks to BobE, The Stigler and Lola for contributing to this magnificent total.
----------------------------------------------
The results in last week's Fun Online Poll were as follows:

Which is your favourite Clash albums?

London Calling - 38%

The Clash (UK version) - 21%
Give 'em Enough Rope - 6%
Sandinista! - 4%
Cut The Crap - 2%
The Clash (US version) - 0%
Cost of Living EP - 0%
Combat Rock - 0%
None of the above - 29%


It was a low turnout for a fairly specialist topic, but thank you everybody who took part. If you are into The Clash, it's difficult to choose just one, but this were a Dessert Island Discs* type scenario where you can only take one Clash album with you, I'd choose "London Calling" as well.

* That's not a typo. Their drummer was called Topping Headon.
------------------------------------------------
To those who prefer the UK version to the US version, in the words of Prisoner Fooble:


Here's the track listing for the UK version:
Janie Jones
Remote Control
I'm So Bored With The U.S.A.
White Riot (the crap mono version)
Hate And War
What's My Name
Deny
London's Burning
Career Opportunities
Cheat
Protex Blue
Police And Thieves
48 Hours
Garageland


Here's the track listing for the US version:
Clash City Rockers
I'm So Bored With The U.S.A.
Remote Control
Complete Control
White Riot (the great stereo version with the guitar solo)
White Man In Hammersmith Palais
London's Burning
I Fought The Law
Janie Jones
Career Opportunities
What's My Name
Hate And War
Police And Thieves
Jail Guitar Doors
Garageland

--------------------------------------------
And lo, to this week's Fun Online Poll.

Click at random on the widget in the side bar.

Friday, 22 June 2012

Julie Burchill on top form

I can't remember ever agreeing with a word she's written before, but Julie Burchill is spot on with every word of her article in yesterday's Soaraway Sun (of all places):

Dr Wright, headmistress of the £30,000-a-year girls’ school St Mary’s Calne said: “It is not too strong a statement... to say that almost everything that is wrong with Western society today can be summed up in that one symbolic photo of Miss Kim Kardashian on the front of Zoo magazine.”

Let’s get one thing straight. Kim Kardashian is a beauty — a world-class, grade-A, ocean-going beauty. She is not a brain, a talent or an entertainer. Zoo magazine did not vote her Most Likely To End World Poverty or To Reverse Climate Change — they voted her the Hottest Woman In The World...

With all due respect, I haven’t seen Dr Wright’s BTM, and I don’t really care to. But all this seems to me like a chronic case of Bum Envy...

Friday, 8 June 2012

"Anger over ‘protection’ given to foxes plaguing council block"

From The Evening Standard:

Council bosses were today accused of ignoring urban foxes plaguing a north London council block by treating them as though they have “human rights”. Brent council has refused to move a family of foxes that have been entering homes in Queen’s Park in case it causes the animals “unnecessary suffering”.

Resident and former Arsenal groundsman Tom Logan has told how he now fears that his young daughter could be attacked by one of the foxes. Nail technicians Nikki Hollis and single mother Stephanie Malley also live in the flats.

The foxes have set up a den in the overgrown garden of one of the several million-pound homes which back onto the council block. Logan, 48, said he was now wary of allowing his two-year-old daughter Lola to play in the garden without supervision. His wife Nancy, who is expecting their second child this week, said:

“It is pretty frightening. Lola loves playing in the garden and we can’t now leave her in there just to run about. We have put netting up so it stops them getting in. It is frightening because we have a little girl and we hear stories about them coming and attacking kids.”

Friday, 1 June 2012

"I really really don't want another celebrity in Hampstead"

From The Evening Standard:

Mobile phone shop managers Tom Logan and Nikki Hollis have given their backing to campaigners trying to stop Hampstead being taken over by celebrities.

They joined a demonstration outside the former Spice Girl Mel C's £5 million mansion in the exclusive suburb, which dozens of celebrities have made their home. Residents say the number of celebrities has turned Hampstead into a "bland Identikit town".

They have called on local estate agents to do more to engage with the community after accusing them of showing "indifference" to the needs of people born locally.

Logan, 38, who lives in the area but was born in Lancashire, was among a group of Hampstead residents waving placards and chanting outside the Foxtons branch. He tweeted: “Go! Hampstead residents, today protesting against yet another ex-pop star or retired actor buying another house in the area. Come on estate agents! It’s all kicking off down here!”

Phones4U manager Hollis, 40 and originally from Scotland, who is planning to go and see the new Batman blockbuster The Dark Knight Rises when it comes out, said: “The problem is that if all the houses are bought up by broadcasters and reality TV stars, local people can’t survive because the houses cost so much.”

An online petition calling for a rethink by estate agents Foxtons, which sells properties to authors and musicians, has attracted 300 signatures.

Employment solicitor Jessica Learmond-Criqui, who is leading the campaign, challenged Foxtons last year over the closure of Hampstead Fish & Chip Shop, whose core customers had been driven away from the area by health food nibbling actresses.

A spokesman for Foxtons said its head of sales would meet campaign members to address their concerns. But he added that the company’s primary duty was to vendors, who included “many thousands of Britons who had built up property assets over their lifetime and who needed the proceeds to fund their retirement”.

Sunday, 29 April 2012

Moiré interference trousers

Explanation here. Picture from the Daily Mail.