... can you help?"
"Yes of course. Just tune into my new TV series called Fill Your House For Free."
Next week: Kirstie chats to former workers at home furnishing retailers such as Habitat, Focus DIY, Floors-2-Go, Sofa Workshop, Allied Carpets, and MFI about how unemployment has affected them, and explains to them how to access a range of government schemes to help them with their mortgage payments.
Homey Queen Kirstie, commenting on the IF Report at the BBC:
Television property show presenter Kirstie Allsopp says it is not fair to pick on the elderly (1) as they usually want to hang on to their homes for their children's sake. "It's not house hoarding. This is their home, (2)" she says. "A lot of that generation have done far more in life and taken far less than we have. (3)"
Wrong on so many levels, it's difficult to know where to start...
1) The system as it currently stands is massively stacked against young people, there's always a trade off here. Faced with a choice between buying an affordable house today, paid for out of your own money, or your parents inheriting your grandparent' overvalued house (quite possibly burdened with MEW debt), I know which most young people would choose. In any event, the real beneficiaries of Home-Owner-Ism are Baby Boomers, not those people who "fought in two world wars", i.e. everybody over the age of about 111; to have even fought in one world war you'd have to be aged at least 82...
2) OK, so they are not house hoarding (i.e. over-occypuing) they want to stay there because it is their home. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but your home is where you live, if you move from one house to another, you still have a home, don't you? Or possibly, they are house hoarding (i.e. over-occupying) because they want their children to inherit more housing than otherwise. Which is it to be?
3) Clearly, old people have 'done more' because they've been around for longer, but how does she define 'taken less'? Clearly, until the 1970s of so, people who bought houses usually bought new houses so they were merrily using up The Hallowed Green Belt, why is it so terrible if today's young people want to do the same? And as a matter of fact, today's working age population are paying much more in tax/NI than previous generations did and will receive much lower pensions much later in life.
Ms A declared her interest in all of this on Question Time a year or two ago and pointed out that her parents paid two shillings and sixpence for their London house several decades ago and it is now worth £2 million. But if you think about Inheritance Tax (not a good tax, but there you go), then if her parents really wanted their children to inherit as much as possible, they would down size pronto presto and give the net proceeds to their children, in the hope that they (the aged parents) live another seven years.
I must admit, I blather on about the rental value of land being created by 'society' or 'the community'; the notion that if the government spends taxpayers' money wisely, it channels the gains in the direction of landowners; and the assumption that the value of your particular plot of land is largely influenced by what the occupants of surrounding plots do and not what you do, etc, but as a fair minded sort of chap, let's have a look at what the hard core Home-Owner-Ists have to say about it...
According to Channel 4 - who broadcast a lot of Kirstie Allsop's programmes, and she should know - if you want your 'investment to show capital growth', here is what you should look for when deciding where to buy:
1: What's The Area Like?
If you're worried about whether or not you'll feel at home with your new neighbours, fear not. Discovering everything, from your neighbours' incomes to what paper they read, is a cinch with a neighbourhood profile from www.upmystreet.com. Similar concerns about crime? This site will also provide the latest statistics.
2: High Street Hints
It's true that newly opened coffee shops, delicatessens and especially estate agents suggest an upward shift in an area. Unfortunately, shops tend to follow shoppers, so you may have missed your chance to get in early and snap up a bargain. However, it's still an encouraging sign that the times (and area) are changing.
3: Smartening Up
Many post-war town centres have become concrete wastelands, but planners are realising that braving the urban jungle is not what we want. Some quick enquiries at the local council may reveal if there are plans afoot to redevelop a town centre, which will make the area a more pleasant place to be.
4: Architectural Delights
Sought-after building styles - Victorian terraces or well-proportioned 1930s semis, for example - can push one area to the fore if surrounding neighbourhoods are less architecturally strong.
5: Mapping It Out
You're not the only refugee from gorgeous but unaffordable areas. Take solace in the 'ripple effect' - places on the boundaries of good areas often become desirable, so the best advice is to get out the map and look for likely candidates around your dream location.
6: Look To The Future
Thinking ahead is a must when buying, so don't just consider what you want from your house now - factor in what future buyers might want, too. Even if you don't have kids, your future buyers might, so try to pick an area with good schools. And it doesn't matter if you're a gym-dodger - potential purchasers may want one locally. No car? No matter - inadequate parking in an area will discourage car owners, so remember to bear this in mind too.
7: Home Improvements
Look out for any new developments and skips outside private homes, as they're signs of new blood moving in. Large disused buildings are also prime candidates for refurbishing into flats for professionals.
8: What Are Local Schools Like?
Check performance tables at the Department for Education and Skills and Ofsted inspection reports to see how schools are performing - marked improvements are a good sign. Also, see if there are universities in the area, giving you the option of future rental income, either for the whole property or just a room.
9: Quiet Life Or Night Spot?
An area that is peaceful during the day can turn into a swinging hotspot by night, so it's always a good idea to visit at different times, both during the day and week. Gangs of unsupervised kids hanging around are not a good sign of an area on the up.
10: Are Transport Links Decent?
New transport links signal investment, so investigate planned improvements on roads with the Highways Agency. To find out about existing travel links, contact National Rail Enquiries for trains, or Travel Line for buses.
Maybe I've missed something, but isn't that exactly what I've been saying all along?
It's just that I think this through to one logical conclusion - that it is better to tax community-created land values than to tax incomes; and the Homeys and Faux Libs draw the opposite conclusion - that skimming off the profits resulting from the efforts of others is a good way of making money. I don't think there is any disagreement on the actual facts, is there?
Kirstie Allsopp in Saturday's Times:
If I could do one thing this year it would be to persuade people that second-hand and home-made presents are not in any way second-rate. I have no concept that there is anything shameful about them. This may be because I was brought up seeing the worth in second-hand pieces because my father worked for Christie’s...
It gets even better:
My other half, Ben, and I live in a huge house in East Devon that we couldn’t possibly afford to furnish unless we used recycled goods...
From The Metro:
Kirstie Allsopp set to join House of Lords
She's advised countless people on the importance of location and now Kirstie Allsopp's possible new home couldn't be much grander... the House of Lords. The Channel 4 property guru is being lined up as one of dozens of new peers should David Cameron win next year's general election. According to leaked documents, the Conservative leader is looking to 'sprinkle stardust on the red benches'.
The 36-year-old Location, Location, Location star - daughter of Charles Henry, 6th Baron Hindlip - could be joined by Tim Berners-Lee, founder of the internet, and Carphone Warehouse co-founder David Ross. Allsopp is one of 20 high-profile figures 'in advanced discussions' about getting the honours from the Conservatives. Some may well become ministers to help a future Conservative government - Allsopp is currently a 'housing adviser'. She is also a close friend of the Camerons, and mixes in the same social circles, insiders say.
Mr Cameron has in the past been highly critical of Labour's promotion of celebrities and business figures to its 'government of all talents' (1). The Tory list was drawn up by PR firm Mandate after speaking to more than 50 MPs at their recent party conference. 'As they prepare for a difficult first year in power, the Conservatives are planning to use Lords appointments to sprinkle some star dust on their front bench,' said Fiona Mason, Mandate's managing director of political affairs. 'David Cameron is keen to bring to the fore a range of policy and technical experts who have stronger knowledge of the wider world than many of his MPs.' She said he wanted at least 20 high-profile new peers...
A spokesman for the Conservatives described the list as 'pure speculation'.
(1) Ahem.
Channel 4 at 8 o'clock today: The Ascent of Money "In a new and very timely landmark series, historian Professor Niall Ferguson tackles the story of money and the rise of global finance. Ferguson argues that behind every great historical phenomenon - empires and republics, wars and revolutions - there lies a financial secret."
In which said Professor will probably completely miss the point and blame it all on 'banks', whereas the more fundamental truth is that politicians welcomed the property price bubble because it led to an illusion of ever rising wealth. And you can't have a property price bubble without a credit bubble, so certain bonus-hungry employees at banks just made hay while the sun shone.
Followed immediately by Location, Location, Location: A Survival Guide "With the UK heading towards a recession, the property market looks more treacherous than ever before. So, in this 90-minute special, Kirstie and Phil give their expert advice on how to survive the credit crunch, offering comprehensive recommendations to help home owners, buyers and sellers from all over the country make the right moves in this unsettled market."
A prime opportunity for a more specialised version of Bullshit Bingo, methinks. I tip 'shortage of housing'; 'pent up demand'; 'long term investment'; 'it's a home not an investment'; 'freeing up credit markets'; 'fundamentals'; 'buying opportunity'; 'the government should ...' and 'Stamp Duty cuts for first-time buyers'.
From the weekend FT:
Grant Shapps, shadow housing minister, said it was time for the government to take measures to help consumers buy homes ... The most urgent need was to scrap stamp duty for most first-time buyers purchasing homes worth less than £250,000, Mr Shapps said in an interview with the FT...
F***ing hellski, it's almost as if they've been taking advice from Krusty Allsop ... oh ... they have!
As Fred Makepeace explains in the comments to that last link "...if you scrap stamp duty it will simply lead to an increase in the price of housing. Therefore the first time buyer is no better off and our Government loses an income stream. It's very basic economics surely!!!". Secondly, as spiteful as Stamp Duty (more correctly, 'Stamp Duty Land Tax') is, it is only 1% up to £250,000, so with prices falling at nearly 1% a month, is that problem not sort of ... er ... dealt with? Finally, mucking about with SDLT will do bugger all help to those poor mugs who have overstretched themselves and are looking at unaffordable interest-rate hikes.
Ministers could also help the market by scrapping home information packs and by removing the density targets that made housebuilders produce flats instead of family homes, he said.
Sure, HIPs are a load of rubbish, but it's only a few hundred quid wasted, they cost a fraction of what the vendor has to pay the estate agent. We shouldn't have 'density targets' anyway, if you leave it to the markets (rather than politicians, Greenies and NIMBYs), we'd probably get the right number of the right-sized homes being built in the right places. So half-marks for that last bit.
Similar measures were demanded several weeks ago by the Home Builders Federation as it warned that many of the industry’s 300,000 jobs were at risk from the freeze in the market.
Dear Homebuilders! Wake up and smell the coffee! If you can't shift your homes, then drop the prices! If you wrote down your land-banks to market value, then you would notice that you could still build and sell houses at a profit!
It appears the homebuilders have got their heads firmly stuck in the sand. Instead of dropping headline prices, they are coming up with all sorts of gimmicks - the latest being an interest-free loan for a quarter of the price, as perpetrated by Taylor Wimpey and Persimmon.
Kirsty was on the front page of yesterday's Telegraph trying to talk up house prices*, the possibly dumbest bit was this:
The people she finds most irresponsible are those who are trying to whip up fear. "There is a website called Housepricecrash.com** and I am their deadliest enemy ... There has been overpricing in some areas but this is not America. We are not going into freefall unless we panic ourselves into it."
Davros (comment 49) got in one of the best retorts:
Hang on, on the one hand lack of supply will support the market, there aren't enough houses etc. etc. Then the next minute we can talk ourselves into a housing crash!? Which is it? Either economics dictates that the crash is impossible or that's made up in order to keep the party going for those who've a vested interest in that happening.
C'mon, what's the answer to that, fatso!?
* The headline is "Locating the cause of the property crisis with Kirstie Allsopp". I do like the alliteration here, the way that 'crunch' is gradually being replaced by 'crisis' which will no doubt soon be replaced with 'crash'.
** As any fule kno, it's called "housepricecrash.co.uk", not ".com", sigh.
