"Jeremy Clarkson suffers 'smashed testicles' after cow attack"

From Bang Showbiz:

"I think this was the lowest point in my farming career to date. Being attacked by a cow while on my knees, in the mud, in a storm, with smashed testicles. And all so I can make beef for a restaurant that I probably won’t be allowed to open. I was very miserable."

Cow attacks usually just involve a careless dog walker, or occasionally an unlucky farm worker. It's nice to see a celebrity joining in the fun every now and then.