Thursday, 3 October 2019

"Everyone suddenly an expert on Northern Ireland"

From Newsthump:

Absolutely everyone on the British mainland is suddenly an expert on Northern Irish politics, it has emerged today.

Irish politics have proven a nigh-intractable problem for centuries, but all of a sudden everyone on the Internet has a depth of knowledge on the best possible solution for Brexit and the Irish border, which has eluded the world’s finest minds to date.

As one of the UK's top experts on Irish politics (definitely in the top 60 or 70 million or so), all I can say is, stop fannying about.

Just hand Northern Ireland back to the Republic of Ireland. Don't bother with a referendum (as vaguely planned in Good Friday Agreement), that's asking for trouble, just do it, schedule it for midnight 31 October/1 November 2019 for simplicity.

Withdraw any UK troops we might still have there, shut the Northern Ireland department, cancel all government payments to Northern Ireland, tell Westminster MPs from Northern Ireland that they are sacked, the lot.

The DUP and their ilk will be pretty miffed... but what are they going to do about it after the event? Then tell the EU they can shove their back stop up their collective arses.


Dr Evil said...

Works for me on several levels.

gonetomorrow said...

When was NI ever part of the Republic of Ireland to be handed back? Why does NI not have a further option of independence? Why indeed can it not make its own decision about the future. And who says the Irish really really want it, with half the population of NI violently against.

Mark Wadsworth said...

Dr E and GT, thanks for your expert opinions :-)

benj said...

My solution is best. (Full-on Georgism implemented on a by region basis. Starting with NI first).

Just bribe them with the offer to be "tax free" in order to shut them up.

Penseivat said...

Give Northern Ireland to Eire, as Sir Paul McCartney once sang ("Give Ireland Back To The Irish"), on the proviso that he has to go and live there. That'll teach them!

Unknown said...

Nah, the referendum's a done deal. Just say that GB will continue to fund that bit of the NHS that wouldn't be funded by the Irish government, have the referendum and get rid of the whole bloody mess. Probably would have been cheaper than bribing the DUP if we'd done it two years ago.

I'm half Irish, so I really am an expert.

Mark Wadsworth said...

B, don't underestimate politicians exploiting petty differences to create a Them and Us situation, even if that is to the detriment of both sides.

PS, yup, let's base domestic policy on pop songs. Each to their own.

U, others have said that NI people worry about having to pay for private health insurance, maybe that would swing it.

(By the way, one of my grandmothers was half-Irish. My son studied Irish history at uni, and he once tried to explain it all to me. Making me pretty much an expert on these matters.)

Lola said...

Or, Eire Leaves the EU and rejoins an Anglosphere free trade area....modeled on the Commonwealth + USA.

And that would without any doubt be best for Eire. I'd even be ready to help them financially to transition back to the Punt.

Mark Wadsworth said...

L, unlikely to happen, but all views are equally valid.

Penseivat said...

My policy is based on the experiences of 3 lots of 6 months each, when I was sent to Ulster. Protestants tried to kill me because I was sent there to protect Catholics, at the same time, Catholics were trying to kill me because, in their eyes, I represented a government which wanted to keep Northern Ireland in the UK. During that time, McCartney brought out that song which, as you can imagine, showed that the daily risking of lives by me, and other members of the military, was being appreciated (not). In this, I will admit, my views are slightly prejudiced.

Mark Wadsworth said...

PS, your opinion is as valid as everybody else's, that's the whole point here.

I like Led Zeppelin, others don't, that's fine, there's no point me telling others that they SHOULD like led Zeppelin.

Mark Wadsworth said...

... so if somebody says "I would like NI to be dealt with as follows..." then by definition that is true.