Tuesday, 29 May 2018

My dream crap car list.

I've had a Mazda MX5 (1998, Jap import, 1.6l automatic) and a Toyota MR2 (2000, pre-facelift, but with the body-coloured FL side vents) for just over two years now and, although they have ended up costing me twice as much as budgeted, I love them to bits.

If money and parking space were no object, which happily they are, here are cars 3 to 10 on my dream crap-but-lovable car list:

3. MG MGF, facelift version 2000-02, a VVC if you twist my arm, but not one with the silly spoiler.

4. Honda Prelude Mk 1 ca 1982. An automatic one comes up for sale every few months but all the 5-speed manuals appear to have rusted away. Failing that, I'd take a Honda Prelude Mk 3 (1987-91).

5. A Fiat/Bertone X1/9, preferably a Gran Finale ca 1988 and definitely a 1.5l. I sat in one once, it's far too small inside and not a pleasant place to be, but they are even far more beautiful in real life than in pictures. Preferably without the silly spoiler.

6. A late model TR7 convertible, or one of the handful of the TR8 convertibles still on the road.

7. An MG TF (2002 to 2005), not fussed about which year or model, but maybe a 160, just for the LOLZ.

8. For ironic reasons, a 1990s Lotus Elan M100 front-wheel drive, or even better the Kia-made version.

9. A VW-Porsche 914 (car that looks the same going forwards as it does reversing - heroically ugly), or a 916 because they are rare as hen's teeth.

10. Going with the ironic front-wheel drive theme, a Fiat Barchetta (basically an MX5 copy), to cap it all, available in left-hand drive only.

Anything I've missed? And which should I remove from the list?


Shiney said...


All exceedingly stupid.... but great in their own way. However, you did forget the Reliant SS1 which is the rag-top equivalent of a beige Austin Allegro but not as fast.

The 914.... a big yes! One of my favourite cars actually, partly because it is so ugly.

Ben Jamin' said...

You might as well just go for an Alfa, and get the whole crap car thing out of your system.

Or just go extreme. A Rover SD1 3500.

Mark Wadsworth said...

Sh, SS1 = excellent suggestion.

BJ, nope, not an Alfa, they are not ironic. And certainly not a Rover, those are way too big.

Lola said...

Porsche 916 is by no means a crap car.

X1/9 sre pretty dangerous. Colin Chapman's daughter had a crash in one and it folded up around her.

And do you mean one of these MG TF's ..https://betterparts.org/images/mg-tf-02.jpg ?

Agreed neither Alfa's nor Lancia's are ironic. Iconic, yes. Ironic no.

Mark Wadsworth said...

L, yes it is; yes they are; no, I mean the 2002 onwards version.

Lola said...

No. the 916 is not crap, i.e. the 6 cylinder. It may look crap, but it's a cracker. Especially if you get the engine sorted. It was one of my choices as a racing car for my old age...but prices have risen a lot.

Bayard said...

"And do you mean one of these MG TF's ..https://betterparts.org/images/mg-tf-02.jpg ?"

I think "My Dad Had One of Those".

Shiney said...

@L @MW

Ahem.... 914/6 actually...... great machine.

There's a bloke near where I live has got a lime green one in his front parking area. Its been there for ages but I haven't had the courage to ask if he wants to sell it in case I end up with an accidental 'project' - Mrs Shiney would NOT be pleased.

Lola said...

Shiney. How about getting one of tge two (?) 914/8's?

Mark Wadsworth said...

L and Sh, whatever the mechanical prowess of a 916, it more than redeems itself in the crap-but-loveable stakes by its sheer joyous ugliness.

Lola said...


and 914/6 used in IMSA

ThomasBHall said...

I too love the 914, and the 6 would be brilliant! Once the mental bubble in pork prices pops I'll get one... That and an Alpine a110.

ThomasBHall said...

I've also g9t a bit of a soft spot for the TR7/8. Not sure why...