Thursday, 9 November 2017

"Three men tackle rogue six-foot emu rampaging through North Lincolnshire"

Spotted by TBH in the Scunthorpe Telegraph:

It took three men to tackle a six-foot emu that has allegedly been rampaging through North Lincolnshire for the past week.

Ted Phillips, owner of Shepherd's Place Farm in Haxey, said that he jumped on top of the ginormous bird this morning (Monday, November 6) after receiving calls about the escaped bird all week.

He had been advised previously not to tackle the bird but took the decision to take it on anyway after hearing that it had taken a trip to Haxey Primary in the Isle of Axholme, because emus can be aggressive.

He said: "It's a game changer when children are involved."

Mr Phillips leaped on top of the bird while two other men held and tied its legs together and a nearby policeman "did the best that he could". They then flagged down a conveniently passing builder's truck and took it back to Mr Phillips's farm.

"We don't know who the emu belongs to," he said...

I love the bit about the "nearby policemen".


jack ketch said...

Colour me 'Unsurprised'. Lincolnshire is far too close to Norfolk for it's own good...and I've seen the North Norfolk panther in Felbrigg Woods...truly I did!

Mark Wadsworth said...

Jk, I believe you. Why would anybody on the internet lie?

jack ketch said...

Indeed why would anyone lie on the intrawebz? All men do indeed have 12" penises and all women are millionaire virgin princesses with PHDs in astrophysics.

Mike W said...

Having lived in Lincoln, I had to chuckle even before I got down to the story. I had heard of the Daily Telegraph, of course, but there is a paper called, 'Scunthorpe Telegraph'. Although, I think I may have eaten some chips from it once(that's the Daily Telegraph not the Scunny). I notice the journo has given herself the penname 'Birch'. Guess she is just using the Telegraph to climb the ladder to get herself a proper, Daily Mail job. Don't they all?

Anyway, didn't the Emu survive the 65 million year KT boundry, or evolve soon after? I like the idea that the bloke interviewed thought it was a 'gamechanger'. He certainly would have if it had split his guts open with its 'claw'.

MW's new area of special interest: non-bovine creatures who evolved before humans, but still have a genetic hatred of us. Mmmm

Shiney said...

'ginormous'.... great adjective! Especially in the context of 'bird'