"Warning over fake make-up which contains eye of newt and toe of frog"

From The Evening Standard:

Disgusting ingredients such as eye of newt, toe of frog and even wool of bat have been found in fake make-up and perfume that is flooding the UK market, the Witchfinder General today warned.

Lipgloss, foundation, eyeliner and mascara produced in filthy, unofficial factories can also contain dangerous substances such as tongue of dog, adder's fork and blind-worm's sting, while knock-off hairdryers and straighteners carry the risk of powerful trouble like a hell-broth boil and bubble.

The Inquisition's intellectual property crime unit this week launches a campaign to warn online shoppers away from buying counterfeit beauty products, which they say put souls at risk of eternal damnation.

Christian fundamentalists estimate that UK shoppers unwittingly pour £90 million into witchcraft - which advertises products claiming to be from big brands on sites like eBay and Amazon - every year.