"Boat Race spectators rescued by emergency services after becoming trapped by rising turd"

From the Evening Standard:

Dozens of overeager spectators had to be rescued after they became trapped beside the River Thames while watching yesterday's Boat Race. An eight-year-old boy who became submerged in sewage after losing his parents was one of about 80 people who were carried to safety. Lifeboat crews from the RNLI saved 60 people alone while the Metropolitan Police's marine unit and the Royal Marines brought several out of the doo-doo.

The spectators were standing on the foreshore of the Thames when they became stranded by the rising turd and the large wash from the flotilla following the rowing teams from Oxford and Cambridge. Large crowds were caught short at the foreshore in Hammersmith and Barnes and a smaller group was rescued in Chiswick.

David Clarke, of the Chiswick RNLI, said:

"They were people on the foreshore just caught out by the rising turd and substantial wash from the flotilla that follows the race.

"Normally, the Thames is well spoken, but this twelve-hourly peak in water level definitely had a northern accent, Black Country maybe, and it all turned to shit."