"New phase in A9 Perth to Inverness duelling project"

From the BBC:

The next stage in a £3bn plan for a duel between Perth and Inverness has begun with a public brawl on the stretch at Dalwhinnie.

Cabinet Secretary for Infrastructure, Investment and Civil War Keith Brown has unveiled plans for a new junction giving access to duellists from the Highland village.

The public have been asked for their views on 15 options for the final choice of weapons. A number of high definition videos of the ensuing carnage have been created of some of the proposals.

Mr Brown has described the duelling project as "mammoth", slapped a protestor in the face with a glove and demanded satifaction.