Tuesday, 2 September 2014

"Middle aged man is outraged at being told computer generated image is not actually an airport"

From The Daily Mail and The Daily Mail:

News that Boris Island, a computer generated image of an airport, is not and will never be an airport has devastated millions of fans.

But no one was more overwhelmed by the news than this mop-headed Londoner, who could not contain his shock, horror and disbelief that the image proudly displayed on the wall of his office is a complete fantasy.

The overweight politician, Boris, was utterly dismayed at the revelation. And he didn't hold back his feelings, venting at Airports Commission chairman Sir Howard Davies who filmed his dramatic reaction and posted it on YouTube.

"What’s the matter, Boris?" Sir Howard asks. "Did you read our final report?’

"I’m not talking to you,"’ Boris says. And then proceeds to let rip, demonstrating an eloquence far beyond his years.

"You don't want Boris Island to be an actual airport," he says, on the verge of tears, lips a-quiver and with a wobble in his voice. But he doesn't let his emotions take over.

"There won't even be an island called after me," the Conservative PPC continues, clearly disbelieving the news.

"And how does that make you feel? You don’t like it?" Sir Howard taunts.

"I hate it," the former Spectator editor says vehemently, staring at the camera.

"It looks like an airport! On an island!," he screams. And quite sensibly as well.

Articulating every word, the Bullingdon boy continues, "It cannot be dismissed as just another one of my vanity projects."

"I’m sorry, that's exactly what it is," Sir Howard says.

"You’re not posting this on Facebook either," ends the mayor.

The Airports Commission chairman posted the clip on YouTube, titled ‘The London mayor didn't appreciate the truth about Boris Island'.

According to the Airports Commission, Boris Island is possibly the most ludicrous waste of money ever, an artificial island in the middle of an important waterway with no existing transport connections, dozens of miles outside of London.


Lola said...

Another two wankers arguing about spending everyone else's money. Lest we forget H Davies was the numpty than ran the Financial Shambles Authority - well Chairman of actually. No-one acrtually 'ran' it, as is witnessed by its abject failure. He then segwayed that into a nice little earner as Chairman of the uber consolidator Phoenix Group who make shedloads off rent seeking.
You know what? These types of plonkers are just working on a different planet to everyone else, and very cleverly, at our expense.
I am not happy.

Steven_L said...

Haven't people been touting a Thames Estury airport since the 1970's?

Once another runway gets the nod he'll probably go back to the 'Boris road bridge to France' vanity project.

Mark Wadsworth said...

L, yes.

SL, hopefully he'll be an MP again fairly soon where he can't embark on these vanity projects.