Wednesday, 11 June 2014

"$1 billion country trashed after US troop withdrawal advertised on Facebook"

From The Metro and the BBC:

The withdrawal of US troops from Iraq ended in tears after it was advertised on Facebook and Al Qaeda militants stormed the $1 billion country, causing hundreds of thousands of dollars of damage.

President Barak Obama, 52, withdrew 112,000 uninvited US troops from Iraq between 2009 and 2011 – but after a friend posted the event online, as many as 6,000 religious maniacs descended on the newly liberated country.

Iraqi police and army desperately tried to run away and hide from the armed insurgents, who were chanting and fighting to take control of Mosul and Tikrit, according to neighbours in the Middle East.

As the country filled to capacity, suicide bombings spilled out into the street, with terrorists urinating and vomiting in the roads and one girl being taken away and stoned to death in an ambulance.

Turkey said: “It started to get out of hand quite quickly. They were fighting to get across the border. Iraq couldn’t fit them all in.”

Iran added “I’m pretty sure Iraq didn’t know what it had let itself in for.”


Ian Hills said...

The withdrawal came as tweets were launched against the allied occupation force....

Mark Wadsworth said...

IH, have you read the Metro article?

Ian Hills said...

Yes, so what?

Incidentally you seem to have missed the link on the Metro page, which says -

"Clumsy man painting nude gets penis jammed in pipe"

Lower down the link page is another gem -

"In 2008, a vicar was hospitalised with potato up his bum after he fell on to the vegetable while hanging curtains in the nude."

And your BBC link doesn't work.

Mark Wadsworth said...

Ih, just askin'.

Thanks re the BBC link, I have reinserted.

Re the other stories, the headline which springs to mind is "Clumsy vicar painting curtains gets potato stuck up pipe. While either flashing or wanking."

ageing man said...

Pity about the facebook page though.... really should have checked his privacy settings.... I don't reckon that ISIS are gunna get too many thumbs up now..... assuming that they leave any thumbs on the anyone's hands.... if they are taking off the heads, there's a pretty good chance the thumbs won't make it, and no worries about getting your knob stuck in a pipe if ISIS get hold of you....I think you may end up with that old WW2 chestnut of your knob in your gob, and your gob and head some feet away from the rest of your body....