Friday, 7 February 2014

"David Cameron sets out 'emotional' case to keep Scotland in UK"

From The Guardian:

The United Kingdom has just seven months to "save the most extraordinary relationship in history", David Cameron warned on Friday, his voice quivering with emotion, in a passionate and personal plea to stop Scotland from breaking away.

The prime minister said was making his intervention because he wanted Scots to realise that England has always done more than its fair share of the housework but that if Scotland is prepared to "just help out a bit more, for God's sake" that the troubled union can survive.

"We've only ever wanted what's best for the family. It's so important for Scotland to realise that the rest of the family see this as a very important family decision," the prime minister blurted out, his eyes welling up with tears.

In a speech delivered in a kitchen in the Olympic Park in London, Cameron angrily stirred something in a pan which was close to burning and said all 63 million people in the UK had a voice in this year's historic referendum…

"The guidance counsellor told you, you have to come out of your shell a bit and give me more emotional and practical support," sobbed the prime minister, as the kitchen filled with smoke: "Oh Jesus Christ, dinner's ruined now, look what you made me do!"

Cameron is aware he is not the most persuasive voice in Scotland, especially after he broke off his monologue after fifteen minutes, announcing that England was going back to its mother's "until the country has got its head straight and maybe Scotland has thought about somebody else for once in its life."

He later sent a text stating that he believes he could not stay out of the argument and has chosen to raise the emotional stakes in the referendum, and also that he'd like some clothes and his overnight bag to be dropped off.

The two countries have not yet addressed the issue of custody for Wales and Northern Ireland.

4 comments:

Bayard said...

I've never understood the Tories being against Scottish independence. They stand to lose one MP, FFS. All the rest are Lib Dems and Labour. They're practically guaranteed a permanent majority in the Westminster parliament if Scotland goes it alone, absolutely guaranteed one if the Welsh can be persuaded to piss off out of the Union as well.

The Stigler said...

Bayard,

But it's more complicated than that.

The FPTP system is based around having two parties with broadly similar policies. If the Tories get a permanent majority, Labour (or another party) will shift to the same policies as the Conservatives and gain power.

There also might be a thing about how much of London gets subsised by the Scots, but I've not thought it through yet.

Bayard said...

TS, yes, it's likely that, in a post Celtic independence England, the Tory part would only enjoy a few years with their guaranteed majority before they split into two parties, like the Liberals did at the start of the C20th. However, both parties are likely to be much more right wing than the present LibLabCon party. It's an interesting thought that modern politics leads to two of three centrist/statist parties practicing Indian Bicycle Marketing. If the "centre" of the electorate swings to the right, the whole IBM behemoth follows, but otherwise there is no change.

OTOH are Cameron and the other IBMers really thinking that far ahead?

Mark Wadsworth said...

B, that was my first thought, perhaps that is why Cam chooses not to go to Scotland, to send out the hidden message that actually he'd rather be shot of them?

TS, true, the English gains would only be short term, but we know that politicians are very short termist, so why would they care?

Re finances - remember that the 'Scottish' oil revenues going to 'Whitehall' more or less net off to zero with the extra per capita funding the Scots get from 'Whitehall'. Post-independence, nothing much would change - the Scots keep the extra oil money and spend it on the extra per capita spending.

B, the Tories wouldn't split - they already have done in mainstream IBM Tories and UKIP. I suspect that LibLab would move slightly to the right and that would be the end of that.

But it's all academic because despite Cam's best/worst efforts, the Scots are not going to vote for independence.