Monday 29 July 2013

"Downing Street says 'go home' van ads are working"

From the BBC:

The use of vans with adverts urging illegal immigrants to "go home or face arrest" are working, No 10 says. The PM's official spokesman said David Cameron disagreed with Lib Dem Business Secretary Vince Cable's view that the scheme was "stupid and offensive".

The spokesman said the Home Office was "clear that this is already working". He did not give figures on levels of response but said that the the housing departments in Barnet, Hounslow, Barking and Dagenham, Ealing, Brent and Redbridge, where the pilot scheme featuring the "go home" posters was tested, found over twenty thousand sets of keys to social housing in the letter box when they checked the post this morning and were now hastily renovating these for local people on their housing waiting lists.

Airlines reported that all seats on flights to countries ending in -stan had been fully booked since Saturday morning and extra flights were being laid on to destinations in Africa.

The number of vacancies for low paid work advertised in the windows of the local Job Centre Plus has quadrupled after several thousand employees failed to show up for catering and cleaning jobs over the weekend.

Fifty thousand delighted parents received letters this morning informing them their child had now been offered a place at their first choice local school after all and geologists have observed that the gradual sinking of the south east of Great Britain which began when the last Ice Age ended in Scotland went into reverse at 11 am local time.


Tim Almond said...

It's the only sensible thing for an illegal immigrant, facing the possibility of arrest and deportation to do - to hand themselves over for arrest and deportation.

Mark Wadsworth said...

TS, you may mock, but the Tube was half empty this morning. Problem is, half the curry places have shut down, quoting "staff shortages".

Anonymous said...

Hey, it's a free flight to see the rellies, and they probably have ways of coming back.

(In seriousness, it's a lot harder to return legally now since the govt is actually doing the fingerprinting thing properly)