This afternoon, I broke the tedium of listening to some of my wife's friends regurgitating what they'd read in The Daily Mail/The Guardian as if it were gospel truth to pop round to the 99p Store to buy a job lot of cigarette lighters.
On my way there, three young lasses (aged 15 or 16, give or take, I'm no expert) asked me for a light, so I proferred my last lighter and told them that a) it would take about seven attempts before it worked and b) I was just popping round the corner etc. They replied that most shopkeepers wouldn't sell them a cigarette lighter, and I agreed that this was pretty low down inconsiderate of them.
One lass took the lighter and started trying to light what appeared to be (and what she hoped was) a small joint. At the roach end. Rather horrified, I took the joint from her and explained which end was which; the end you put in your mouth which contains the "roach" and the other end with the twisty bit of paper which you hold into the flame while inhaling.
"Are you sure?" she asked, at which stage I gave up the ghost, told them to keep the lighter and continued my journey shopwards.
I blame the education system myself. Why isn't making and lighting a spliff part of the basic school curriculum any more, along with handy tips on which snacks you'll need to accompany it?
Sunday, 7 April 2013
Bloody teenagers, I tell you, when I were a lad...
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12 comments:
and which albums to listen to whilst smoking it ( the LP sleeve also making a handy rolling mat, try doing that with a CD case or a download)
What are you thinking, PC? I tried listening to "Thick as a Brick" a couple of times but it didn't really grab me. Not that I have any truck with mind-altering substances of course.
I was thinking more Meddle, Ummagumma etc. Perhaps some Camel or Gong .
Not that I ever inhaled of course
Another hot-tip: don't approach middle aged complete strangers on the street while brandishing a spliff and ask them for a light.
My music of choice, it's got to be Velvet Underground, preferably Sister Ray on repeat.
I really don't what you are all talking about. I assume it's to do with some sort of illicit narcotic. Personally, I find a small light ale more than sufficient stimulation.
Actually I'm surprised you were just asked for a light.
There are now numerous places I don't smoke walking in the street any more , due to being stopped every 20ft and asked if "Got a spare fag bruv" by some tracksuit wearing lout, Never preceded by an 'excuse me' or finished with a 'please' but always signed off with a sotto voce 'cunt' when I say "No"
L, the lasses also assumed that they had purchased an illicit narcotic.
PC, that's why you should smoke follies.
follies?, you've lost me there,
I don't quite see what smoking an ornamental landscape feature will do?
PC, well spotted, I tyoed "rollies" but the spell check on blogger just re-writes that as "follies" without so much as a by your leave. Try it.
I thought it was some new slang , I had an acquaintance once that said he only smoked OP's It was some time before I found out this meant 'Other Peoples' (this was in the days when you would hand your pack round ) He never got another off of me.
but funny you should say that , I have been thinking of keeping a 1/2 oz in a tin for when I'm in Camberwell, Lewisham and such like similar places
Sister Ray .... now that works even if you haven't been indulging in a Nigerian Woodbine or two ...
@MW
Being mellow and considering "the wider issues" isn't fashionable these days.
Being as shallow as the cast from Made In Essex/Chelsea is something most youngsters really do aspire to these days. Coke and booze are in, hash and scag are out.
Glad to hear there's a few in your neighbourhood trying to buck the trend. Hopefully they'll be experimenting with mushrooms next.
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