"Army demolishes block of flats to save 63-ton girl"

From The Soaraway Sun:

AN army demolition squad carried out a controlled explosion at a BLOCK OF FLATS to save Britain’s biggest teenager yesterday after she had a seizure.

It was the only way 19-year-old Georgia Davis, said by friends to be 63 TON, could be hauled from her rooms in Aberdare, South Wales, and taken to hospital. The amazing operation to save Georgia lasted eighty hours and involved a 400-strong team.

It was launched when Georgia collapsed with breathing problems and chest pains in the bedrooms that has become a prison for her and her various limbs. She was airlifted to hospital slung beneath a Chinook helicoper only after the rescue squad had:

DEMOLISHED the top three floors of the block of flats with a 'Daisycutter' bomb.

TORN DOWN buildings nearby to provide space for the 100 ft crane used to lift Georgia from her back bedrooms.

ERECTED a reinforced-concrete 200ft-long ramp reaching up to the gaping hole from the pavement, which runs past the remaining lower floors.

FITTED supports to prevent a seismic event being triggered, and LIFTED Georgia on to the ramp with a CRANE.