"World's Largest Metaphor Hits Ice-Berg"

From The Onion:

Representation of man's hubris sinks in North Atlantic: 1,500 Dead in symbolic tragedy

Officials of the White Star Line have confirmed the sinking, during her maiden voyage, of the RMS Titanic, the world's largest symbol of man's mortality and vulnerability.

At 4.23 Greenwich Standard Time, the following message was received from the rescue ship Carpathia: TITANIC STRUCK BY ICY REPRESENTATION OF NATURE'S SUPREMACY STOP INSUFFICIENT LIFEBOATS DUE TO POMPOUS CERTAINTY OF MAN'S INFALLIBILITY STOP MICROCOSM OF LARGER SOCIETY STOP

"Let us take a step back from the horror of the tragedy," said Lord Peter Hothcrofte, a British naval historian, "and view it in terms of its grander significance. Simply put, the Titanic was more than a crystallization of the accumulated triumphs of 200 years of Western industrialization wedded to the firm but icy hand of science triumphant. It was a ship larger than any ship need be, which therefore also makes it somewhat of a hyperbole."