There were thirteen social smokers, standing on a wall...

From NZ Herald:

Those who dabble in social smoking count themselves among non-smokers and look down on those who do smoke, a new study suggests. A qualitiative study published in the journal Tobacco Control shows that many people who socially smoke have conflicted personalities - disassociating themselves from smokers.

Many of those interviewed as part of the study were also plagued with feelings of remorse and regret the morning after they indulged their occasional habit...

Wot? "plagued with feelings of remorse and regret"? They didn't get drunk and crash a car, punch a colleague or get pregnant by a complete stranger or anything, they stepped outside the pub and smoked a few cigarettes in the company of their friends. And what did this study actually consist of..?

The study recruited and interviewed 13 social smokers aged between 19 and 25... The study, titled Social Smokers' Management of Conflicted Identities, was carried out over the period of a month early last year. The five authors looked at social smoking because they suspected it was riddled with contradictions, she said. Interviewers carried out one-on-one conversations with participants to tease out different questions.

Yup, it takes five 'authors' to interrogate thirteen people until they get the answers they want. What kind of answer might they have been looking for..?

The authors are members of ASPIRE2025, a research collaboration that had been tasked with carrying out research to test and evaluate different policies and interventions to achieve the Government's goal of being smoke-free by 2025, said Dr Hoek.

So not biased then. Chuck in a lie for good measure:

"From our perspective, I think there's a real public health problem here because we know that smoking does become very addictive very quickly for some people. Some people find that they're addicted in fewer than three weeks which is really astonishingly quick when you think about it. So we have to come up with ways to minimise this behaviour."

Not true. Some people become addicted to smoking very quickly, others smoke one cigarette and are put off for life, and there is a happy bunch of maybe a fifth of the population who smoke on a Friday down the pub and wouldn't dream of smoking during the week.

Once suitably water-boarded and sleep deprived, what did these social smokers, " plagued with feelings of remorse and regret" plead for..?

Twelve of the thirteen participants thought introducing smoke-free areas outside bars and restaurants was a good idea to help curb the social smoking habit.

The thirteenth has probably been subjected to an extraordinary rendition or something.