Wednesday 14 December 2011

Who is Britain's least funny comedian? Your nominations, please!

I'm eternally puzzled as to whether, and in which case why, anybody has been amused by Lenny Henry. I mentioned this recently, and Barman and Umbongo shared my puzzlement

Dearieme went one three further and pointed out that neither Marcus Sometwat (?), Jo Brand nor Dawn French were particularly funny either. So the latter two go through to the next round (I've no idea who Marcus Sometwat is).

So I hereby invite your nominations for next week's Fun Online Poll: "Who is Britain's least funny comedian?". While I'm on the topic, I can't remember Jim Davidson ever saying or doing anything funny either. Unless you count parodying a retired First Division footballer from the 1970s as funny. So I'll nominate him while I'm at it.

41 comments:

Curmudgeon said...

Lee Evans. Eddie Izzard. Can sit listening to either utterly stony-faced.

Jeremy Hardy - is this comedy, or just a load of left-wing drivel?

Anonymous said...

Such a field from which to choose !

Sandy Toksvig, Jeremy Hardy, David what's-the-appeal Mitchell, Marcus Cuntstock, Mark Thomas, Russell Unfunny Howard, Andy Smug-git Parsons - it just goes on and on.

But Marcus Cuntstock gets my vote.

chefdave said...

Jim Davidson is actually a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine, like most people I always assumed he was an old, unfunny, racist twunt but I'd never actually listened to one of his shows. Somebody put one of CD's on and I couldn't help but pmsl to his routine, so I eventually ploughed through all his stuff via lovefilm. At the very least you've got to respect a guy who moves country purely because New Labour are in office, and he winds lib-tards up no end too which earns him extra brownie points imo.

Agree with Lenny Henry though and would throw John Bishop and Bradley Walsh into the mix too, along with Marcus twatface, obviously.

Martin said...

1.Lee Evans (2nd rate Norman Wisdom)
2.Michael MacIntyre
3.Those two out of Little Britain
4.Alan Davies (I think that's his name, the floppy haired git off QI)
5.Harry One-trick Pony Enfield

Bill Quango MP said...

Tough crowd if even harry Enfield is getting panned.

1. Mark Thomas. I'm not even sure he is a comedian. might just be a documentary maker.

2. Rob Brydon.

3. Russell Howard. {Not the worst..but that good news show is poor.}

4. Simon Brodkin {the creator of lee nelson}

5. Al Murray

6. Lenny Henry {miss Quango thinks he's brilliant. but she is only 8.}

7. James Corden. So only slightly funny.

8. Phil Jupitus. He won't get into a worst top 5, but he has got so tired. Been on TV too long.

9. Sarah Millican. Doing Jo Brand's old act. It wasn't funny when Brand did it.

10. Jo Brand.

Pavlov's Cat said...

Phil'fucking' Jupitus

Also I find myself shouting 'Trades Description Act' whenever this chap is introduced as 'The Comedian Marcus Brigstock' on HIGNY

Anonymous said...

The fat Lancastrian.

My ex dragged me along to a show; had to leave after twenty minutes.

Everybody else seemed to think he was hilarious.

Martin

dearieme said...

Who was the chap who said that some plain lass looked like a reflection on the back of a spoon, or words to that effect?

Whoever it was, the unkind sally is amusing enough to prove that it was't Marcus Smallcock.

Richard Allan said...

dearieme you're thinking of Frankie Boyle.

Anonymous said...

You are generous in the use of the word comedian.Owing to political correctness,comedy has been abolished.Only the absurd is left to amuse us.

Mr A said...

Funny, before I'd even read the post the names that came to mind were (instantly!) Marcus TwatStock, followed by Lenny Henry and French and Saunders. I'd like to add Billy Connolly to that list. Once a God among comedians, he hasn't done anything funny for 25 years. (Ditto Lenny Henry and French and Saunders - as hard as it may be to remember, they too used to be funny, once upon a time).

Marcus Twatstock has unfortunately never been funny. Ever.

Christopher Snowdon said...

Phil Jupitus
Jo Brand
James Corden

And, to prove I'm not picking on the fat...

Jack Whitehall
Russell Kane

Antony said...

Marcus CuntTwat, Russel Kane or Al Murray.

Antony said...

Oh, and can I nominate Sarah Silverman for the international edition?

Ripper said...

Harry Hill - a face I'd never tire of hitting with a cricket bat.

Tomfitz said...

Most of the others mentioned have made me smile occasionally but Ripper hits the nail on the head for me. A cricket bat eh, that would make me chuckle.

Bayard said...

Mr A, you've cleared up a mystery for me. I used to find Lenny H quite funny and I couldn't really see why he was getting all the flak, but then I haven't owned a TV for the last 25 years.

Curmudgeon said...

Wouldn't it have been much simpler to ask who was Britain's funniest comedian? As others have said, political correctness has effectively killed comedy, and so often it becomes little more than a leftie rant. "Did you know that banker rhymes with wanker?" Hahaha.

The funniest jokes you see nowadays are those viral text messages you receive a few hours after some "disaster" or "tragedy" is reported in the news.

Curmudgeon said...

Is there actually anyone called Lee who has ever done anything worthwhile? Lee Bowyer. Lee Hughes. I rest my case.

WV="foolo" ;-)

Jim said...

Peter Kay. Phoenix Nights was genius, the rest is rubbish. His stand up consists of 'Remember when we ate Opal fruits and Marathon bars, and there was white dog sh1t everywhere?' repeated ad infinitum.

Anonymous said...

This really is a tough crowd. I have laughed at almost all of these at some point. But Marcus Bigstock is surely the winner.

formertory said...

Don't know if Russell Brand counts as a comedian but he's distinctly unfunny - even before the incident with similarly unfunny Jonathan Ross and someone's grand-daughter.

However, I'd have to join those nominating Marcus Brigstocke, the BBC's tame "cutting edge" "comic". The mere sight of his strange rectangular head and the sneer of his lefty cred has me reaching for my sidearm.

Sadly I don't have one, and have to be content with the "off" button on the remote.

Oh, and Roy "Chubby" Brown, who went past his sell-by date in about 1980.

I remember Les Dawson with great fondness, though. A genius. Or maybe it was just different days.

Kevin B said...

Ed Milliband nominates Ayesha Hazarika.

Anonymous said...

She wasn't 'some plain lass'.
She is Rebecca Adlington, and she's stunningly attractive.
Of course she's not perfect, and she's not a US TV daytime soap-type glamour puss.

But if you saw her in your High Street she'd take your breath away.

Same with Kelly Holmes, Jessica Ennis, that Russian pole-vaulter girl or any other top-class athlete.

How about a fun on-line poll of stunning sportswomen?

Mark Wadsworth said...

Thanks for all your submissions, keep 'em coming. Those nominated by the most people go into the final round next week.

Anon, you are way off piste. Spoon face cannot be in any way compared with the stunning Jessica Ennis. But good idea for a poll anway, even though Ennis will walk it (or run it, swim it, vault it, whatever it is that she does for a living).

Anonymous said...

Brigstocke

Rob said...

"The Mark Thomas Comedy Product". Used to be on Channel 4. As far as I could tell, it was a studio audience full of humourless leftist students watching another humourless lefty deliver a political manifesto.

It was around about this time that I started to think that the typical metropolitan left-winger thought very, very differently from me...

Other unfunny 'comedians' I want to punch in the face:

* Marcus Cuntstock (unfunny leftist hypocrite, darling of the BBC)
* Sandy Tostvig (a voice you want to run over in a dangerously overloaded van)
* Frankie Boyle (just a cowardly little cunt, getting cheap laughs from other cunts against the weakest of targets)

Other simply unfunny comedians, with no urge for violence:

* Lenny Henry
* Dawn French
* John Cleese - hasn't been funny since Fawlty Towers

Anonymous said...

Alexi Sayle - he appears and you sort of warm to him but then nothing he says is funny.

Marcus Brigstock - not even left wing people find him funny. A Guardian reader described him to me "We put up with him because he annoys the right people"

Lily Allen's dad. I used to like Comedy Strip but he never cut it. Even less funny than Mike in the Young Ones

"My Family" - makes Terry & June look cutting edge

Anonymous said...

Polly Toynbee. I know she is a spoof but it is not funny any more.

Andrew Duffield said...

Jimmy Carr - unless you count trying too hard to get a laugh and being too far up your own arse as amusing I guess.

Martin said...

I forgot the fat, camp one with the glasses, Alan Carr. And that Omid 'I'm from Iran don't you know' Dhjali.

A K Haart said...

My list :- Marcus Brigstocke, Lenny Henry, Jo Brand, Marcus Brigstocke, Harry Hill, Harry Enfield, Michael Mcintyre, Marcus Brigstocke, Jimmy Carr, Lee Evans, Nick Clegg.

Lola said...

That tubby bloke who stars in The Office who's name escapes me but who is a smug sneering shit. Oh, and Brigstocke of course who's another supercilious prick.

Otherwise humour is personal, so what I find funny you may not. So it's not funny I've judged on but how they are.

chefdave said...

Stephen K Amos and Reginald D Hunter, both of them have built careers playing the race card, badly.

Unknown said...

No one's mentioned Frankie Boyle so that backs up my opinion that he is funny.

Unknown said...

Boyle is funny most of the time.

Unknown said...

No one's mentioned Frankie Boyle so that backs up my opinion that he is funny.

Mark Wadsworth said...

Unknown, two people did mention Boyle. But I find him quite amusing and his Sun columns are brilliant.

Unknown said...

Marcus brigstock, singly the least funny "comedian" that ever drew breath.

Unknown said...

Mark Steele and his Mark Steele " lectures". He goes round UK towns patronizing the locals with his nasal cockney sneer. Thinks he's Garrison Keiller, he's not.

sterile world said...

It would possibly be easier to name the funniest comedian, as most comedians are most unfunny!