Thursday, 17 March 2011

More bollocks about bollocks

From The Metro:

Man's testicles 'bitten off by girlfriend'

A man has had to have his testicles surgically reattached after his girlfriend allegedly bit them off.

Maria Georgina Topp appeared in court accused of carrying out the gruesome attack on her partner Martin Douglas, which is said to have taken place in the early hours of the morning following a drunken night out, reports The Mirror.

Mr Douglas dialled 999 following the incident and was in so much pain operators were unable to understand what he was saying. He needed emergency surgery and was required to spend several days in hospital recovering from the injury.

Paramedics contacted police once they had seen the extent of Mr Douglas's injuries and Ms Topp was arrested and charged with grievous bodily harm.

A Northumbria Police spokesman told the newspaper: "At around 4am on Friday, February 18th, police were called to a report of an assault. Officers arrested a 43-year-old woman on suspicion of assault. A 45-year-old man was taken to the Freeman Hospital for treatment to injuries to his arm and groin area."


Looks like she bit off more than she could chew.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ouch!

Electro-Kevin said...

She sounds like a nut job.

Anonymous said...

A good thing that she was the sort of nice girl who doesn't swallow.

Ian B said...

Just out of interest, not having a go, but just raising a general consciousness-thing...

Would you joke about this if it was a story about a man grotesquely mutilating a woman's genitalia?

Mark Wadsworth said...

Ian B, that is a very good point.

Every time I see a film where a man gets kicked in the groin, and then they cue canned laughter, I feel a bit sick, and wonder why you never see a girl sliding down the bannister and hitting herself on the Newel post.

It's the same with advertising, men are always the idiots whose wives/girlfriends are allowed to fire through an open window or describe as shits (Dulco-Eze).

Sobers said...

I'm prepared to predict that she won't do any time over this. She will claim a) he was playing away and she was temporarily insane and/or b) he threatened her in some way, and she was a victim of domestic violence.

Basically as she is a woman she will get away with it. A suspended sentence ('she is most unlikely to re-offend, your honour') and a bit of community service.

A man doing the mirror image (mutilating his partners genitalia) would probably be put away indefinitely, Broadmoor or the like. A good few years inside at the very least.