Parody Singularity

Longrider stumbled across the absolutely fabulous 300-page Police diversity handbook (Word) and quoted from the section on 'atheism' here, but sort of spoiled the fun by interleaving it with his own thoughts. IMHO the section on atheism is a work of towering genius and must stand or fall on its own merits:

Places of Worship

There are no designated places of worship. Humanist organisations train people to officiate at humanist ceremonies, and compile lists of those who are qualified to do so.

Holy texts

There are no prescribed texts. The oath is taken by a secular affirmation. A number of books containing guidelines for use if non-religious ceremonies are required (see Life Cycle section below) are published, including some written by Jane Wynne Wilson for the British Humanist Association.

Prayer

Atheists have no prayers.

Main festivals

Atheists do not celebrate religious festivals unless they do so in a secular way that celebrates a tradition but unrelated to any belief in the religious significance or worship of God.

Diet

Atheists have no dietary requirements other than those of the individual.

Dress

Atheists have no particular dress requirements.

PS, nice to see the handbook give a lengthy mention for Charles Bradlaugh, not only the first openly atheist MP but also Land Value Taxer of this parish.