"Excuse me, gracious and noble lords and ladies, may we have permission to build ourselves a home to live in? A bit like yours, but ever so 'umble, of course?"
"No."
"Ever so humbly, and without wishing to waste too many seconds of your most precious time, would your lords and ladies indulge us, and remind us of the reason for your patently wise decision? The one that eludes our ever so feeble minds?"
"Toads."
"Oh yes of course. We are so busy scraping the rent together to furnish your most gracious lords and ladies with the finest trappings of which they are so deserving, we forgot to consider the toads, which no doubt afford your lords and ladies such great joy and pleasure. We trust you have taken no offence at our worthless intrusion...."
Dear Barclays
1 hour ago
8 comments:
If I might be ever so bold, your lordship...
A previous BBC article about this says:
"Ipswich Borough Council owns the 11-acre site in the neighbouring Babergh District Council area and was given the first stage of planning permission last year, five years after originally submitting the application."
So your lordships have already granted permission. You examined all the issues in the extremely thorough way for which you are renowned, sir. We all were very grateful that you only took five years to decide, sir.
"However fears about the impact of the development on wildlife in the area have increased following rapid growth in the toad population, which is now thought to be 5,000 strong."
If I might be ever so bold, sir, could I suggest that the figure of 5,000 might be exaggerated, sir, in order to sway your previous decision, sir?
No, no, of course not sir, I'll shut up and go back my hovel, sir. Thank you for wasting your time with me, sir.
Toads? FFS. I get toads in my garden occassionally, or more accurate, I find dead toads on my patio from where my dog has found them and had some sport.
So, here's the solution for all the decent people of Suffolk who value people over slimey creatures: start walking your terriers over to Kiln Meadow a bit more regularly and let them loose. They'll soon start depopulating the area.
AC, JT, that's the spirit!
That said, if the toads really need this field, then you could say 'Let's just build the houses in the next field', but that will turn out to be a butterfly sanctuary or something.
Allocate £1 million from the money raised selling the land to eco-fascism. That can't reasonably be more than 10%. Land for 100 houses. That looks like at least £100,000 of each house is the value of land - at least land to which councillors give planning permission.
I wonder how many homes are lost to workers because of a) Toads and b) Pro single Mums?
I would guess 1000x more to b) and they don't just cost us housing.
Why not attack the real problem?
Mark, a story after your own heart
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2893&Itemid=81
Mark, have you seen this article by Martin Wolf in the FT today?
http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/8f06df9e-8ac1-11df-8e17-00144feab49a.html
NC, good maths.
Anon, it has always been part of the MW manifesto to get rid of Child Tax Credits, and to install a strict 'waiting llist' approach to council housing allocation. I'm not sure what more I can do in that regard.
VFTS, Ed, ta, I have linked.
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