Blares the headline in The Soaraway Sun:
A WOMAN was recovering in hospital last night after being head-butted and trampled by a COW.
Glynis Porter, 58, suffered a broken leg, a smashed ankle and a cut above her right eye. The cow charged at her when she walked through a gate into a field while exercising her three dogs.
The retired post worker was knocked over and repeatedly butted and kicked until her screams scared the beast away. Glynis, of Thurcaston, Leics, managed to scramble over a hedge to safety before calling for help on her mobile. A helicopter took her to hospital in Leicester.
Husband Leslie, 59, said she was "extremely shaken". He added: "She thought she was going to die. She didn't think the cow was going to leave her alone. She fell on to the ground and it carried on head-butting her before stamping on her. Glynis was lucky to survive the attack."
Spotted by Harry Haddock.
Stormlight
2 hours ago
9 comments:
The condition of the cow was not reported, nor was it available for comment.
A spokescow however said,'Moo.'
Another spokescow said,'You bastard, I was going to say that.'
Hohum, slow news day.
So stay out of other people's fields. Yea for the Cow :-)
Most parliamentary candidates don't spend the final day of the campaign highlighting the menace of cows, so well done on putting the national interest before your own.
C, a "slow moos day", I think.
PdH, it's dogs that really wind them up. half of cow attack stories involve dogs.
R, correct. And mooses, if you live in Poland.
M, We will ruminate on your words of wisdom.
She should have let the dogs go, she probably didn't.
Let the dogs go, the cow will never catch the dogs and in the meantime she'll leave you alone.
Never take a dog into a field with cows, especially if there are calves as well. Seriously bad idea.
I suppose she wants "compensating" now....
It is just another example of why we need the right to keep and arm cows enshrined in law...
Actually if I owned a field and it was used by frigging ramblers, I would fill it with rabid attack cows :-P
Looks like the cows have been up to their usual tricks for decades. Apparently, they even decided the result of the 1970 election ~ http://www.spectator.co.uk/coffeehouse/5975693/how-a-cow-won-the-1970-election.thtml
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