From The Metro:
The tree that normally costs £500 has been replaced by a £13,000 fake amid fears it would fall over in strong winds. The new 10m (33ft) tall variety, has no branches and decorations, is sturdier and doesn't have to be cordoned off to keep people away, authorities claim. But residents say it looks more like a gigantic traffic cone, a witch's hat, an ice-cream cornet or even something out of Doctor Who...
Richard Randall-Jones, the town centre manager, defended the new fake tree."People think you can just go into the woods, chop down a tree and put it up in the high street. But if it blows over and kills someone then somebody is liable for it," he said.
I'm not sure how many people have ever been killed by real Xmas trees, and presumably there are as yet no statistics on how many are killed by giant cones. Does anybody else suspect that somebody on the council might have a brother-in-law who happens to sell giant cones?
Friday, 27 November 2009
More Xmas Tree/Elfin Safety Fun...
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8 comments:
"I'm not sure how many people have ever been killed by real Xmas trees,...."
But investigative journalism provides the answer
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2262&Itemid=81
Now look here, it's a well known fact that there is an interantional terrorism organiastaion dedicated to the liberation of Christmas trees and the overturning of their annual cull at the hands of man. There have been at least several incidents of Christmas trees attacking man, mine drew blood from me last year. It's only time before they send representatives to whichever cave Osama Bin Laden is hiding out in so that they can attend his training camps and learn more lethal techniques. I know a man who keeps fields of trees in cages. He thinks he is keeping human thieves out. I warned him that he is really keeping the trees in and one day they will rebel. 'Remember the Day of the Triffids', I said. 'Wot' he said. 'Walking, killer plants. Your trees are learning year by year, and sooner or later....splat.' 'Bugger off' he said. 'Don't say I didn't warn you'. I said.
Clearly it's started. Richard Randall-Jones Knows Something. Send him an FOI request and ask him what MI5 have told him.
We should be told. The people have a right to know.
There were a couple of women killed by a piece of modern art blowing over recently. Not a cone but presumably equally ugly. Perhaps if the elfin people were to ensure the banning of all modern art they might achieve a measure of popularity. Or are bansturbators only interested in banning popular things?
L, first cows, now trees, when will it stop?
MW 13:41 I've heard some disturbing rumours about rosebushes. Have you walked under a rose arch recently? Did you sense the threat? Mine's eaten through the feet of the supporting pergola. Mrs Lola says that's just rot. But I know better. It'll be on us before we know it.
Do we have the stats on Christmas tree deaths in this country?
L, those buggers have been pricking people for centuries, at least they're honest about it. See also Rachel Ward in that TV series with Richard Chamberlain before he was gay.
JH, nope, because there aren't any (fire-related yes, falling-over related, no). It's like trying to find statistics on racehorses that have played for Chelsea Football Club.
Ah yes elfin safety in Poole, heard this in the radio today ( much guffawing from the announcer lady).
One wonders if they are related to the people in Torquay who appopinted a " might poke yer eye out safety officer " whose job it is to cut off the pointy bits of the myriad palm trees whose existence defines Torquay as a holiday destination. ( Not actually palm trees, rather large ferns but never mind ).
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