Pubs to Youth Clubs

** Please note: I am not Mark Wadsworth **

Here comes a plan by the government to make use of all the pubs that they've put out of business with the smoking ban:-

The venture, which has financial backing from the Home Office, could see games, music, entertainment and food served up to their 13 to 19-year-old patrons - but nothing stronger than a cola for refreshment.

Three major pub companies are interested in the venture, with the first pilots expected to open in Crewe and Merseyside within the next three months, which if successful could lead to a national roll-out.

Of course they're interested. If you're running a business and not interested when the government come knocking then you probably should be doing something else. These pub companies could end up making more money than they ever did as pubs.

The initiative has already received policy support from Government departments including the Home Office, which has agreed to fund early work on one of the first projects.

Partnership Projects managing director Andrew Harris, which is behind the pilots, said alcohol-free teen-pubs could help reduce crime, address substance misuse and encourage future adults to drink responsibly.

How? Chances are that all they'll do is to encourage kids to just bring their own vodka (bought from a local shop) into the bar to mix it with the subsidised cokes. Or take an e before they go in.

He said: 'We have done a tremendous amount of research into the concept of a teenage pub including polling youngsters themselves about what they wanted from these new outlets.

'Basically they are looking for the same services as adults, which means entertainment, games, music, soft drinks and convenience food.'

Adults want soft drinks? WTF? What adults have you been asking? Methodists?

The new pubs will offer the same services as any traditional public house business except for alcohol and gambling.

So, they won't be anything like a traditional public house, then.

Each pub will be run by a local 'not-for-profit company' that will comprise local agencies helped by a shadow board of teenagers.

It is hoped funding will help meet start-up and first-year running costs, which will total up to £60,000 for each venue. The pubs are expected to become self-financing after the first year of operations.

Yeah, sure they will. There isn't a single example of government spending money on something that then resulted in self-financing after. Within a few years (at best), they're back for more. Mostly because government is hopeless at considering things like maintenance costs into the cost of providing a service. Over time, things get steadily worse and worse and eventually the project needs a massive extra chunk of spending.

You're going to put "local agency" types in charge of entertainment and expect them to do anything as good as break even after year 1? These were the left-wing wankers put in charge of the entertainment at the Dome and dozens of lottery-funded museums across the country, all of which lost money by the bucketload.

These are people with no experience of running anything in the commercial sector. You think these sorts are going to come round from the other side of the bar, break up a fight and ban the kids? You think they're going to fire barmaids who are chatting to each other rather than serving customers? You think they're going to nail down suppliers to give them a better price on food when they have no financial incentive to do so?

Give it 2 or 3 years and these places will be a disaster. Sadly, that will probably be too late for some pilot reports which massage various statistics to make them seem like a jolly good idea.

Dealing with kids causing trouble starts with parents, and that means getting parents to take responsibility for their kids, and that probably isn't helped by a welfare state which means they don't have to be. Get rid of most of it and you'll sort out crime.

Alcohol abuse? There's a real simple answer to that, and it doesn't take lots of pointless government programmes. Just get the police and courts to actually enforce the licensing laws, and start being much harder on licensees who sell to kids under 18.