From yesterday's Daily Hatemail:
The tradition of dignitaries throwing coins for excited children to scoop up at the St Ives Michaelmas Fair dates back 80 years. But times have changed and it is set to be scrapped amid fears that someone could be injured. Instead, the mayor and councillors of the Cambridgeshire town have been advised to tamely roll the coins towards the scores of kids who line up to scramble* for the bounty.
Throughout the history of the event there has only been one freak injury - when someone's glass eye was broken by a coin in the 1940s.
* By next year, that will no doubt be "walk forward one at a time, accompanied by a suitable adult who has a current valid CRB licence"
Eurotrash
2 hours ago
5 comments:
Tut tut, Mark, you forgot they'll need to have filled in a valid application form and indemnity waiver in advance.
Throwing coins at the kids?
G-zazz! What people are these who can afford such extravagancies in these American originated troubled times!
. . . and a written risk assessment will be prepared and submitted to the local nick, the council, trading standards, health 'n' safety, the NSPCC and (just in case of accidents) the local A&E.
... to be presented by parent and children together with ID cards containing DNA samples of parent and child to prove that parent is indeed parent and not kidnapper, of course.
Isn't this sort of activity covered by the The Money Laundering Regulations?
If not it should be; for all we know these kids might have terrorist sympathies. No doubt we'll be hearing about some outrage at Mothercare or Toys'R'Us in the near future.
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