Bad news: you're only allowed to have a bonfire if your back garden is at least 40 yards square: 
Good news: Coffee contributes to your daily fluid intake:
DoublePlusGood News: Paedophiles are to be cured by being given boxes of matches with subliminal messages when they're released from prison:
* Vindico does this better, obviously.
Once I dipt into the future
2 minutes ago
5 comments:
Haha - i saw that match box image the other day and am in the process of getting it made intot a t-shirt :)
I have long been a fan of that matchbox image. It's both strikingly clear and hilariously amateurish all in the same dose.
If you first take the precaution of burning down the neighbours' houses, trees, hedges, fences and sheds with the matches, you should have plenty of space to comply with the 60ft safety zone for the bonfire.
Notice they give it in both Imperial and Metric.
WOAR, it's worse than that. They must have started off with the 60 foot rule, and converted that to metric. If they'd started with metric, it would be either 15 metres or 20 metres.
Snigger.
What else can they think up guidelines for? No farting within 6m of another person?
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